Hegseth to Restore Slavery

 He will live and drink in the master's house and have "fun" in the evening.  By fun, I mean trips to 

Mar-a-Lago when Trump sells classified documents to foreign agents.  MAGA and pass the diet coke.

Trump asks Supreme Court to Wash his Underwear

They agree.  Judge Thomas has taken the most bribes so he agrees to take it to a laundromat.  He wants one million dollars in quarters. 

Matt Gaetz Should be a Preacher

 I think he would be a fine preacher if he could cry convincingly when he admits his sins in church.

Just keep repenting.  There is not limit.

Trump Will leave us with 100 trillion national debt

 Most of the money will go to his billionaire friends.  But that's what we voted for.

Vice President Musk to Become Trillionaire During Term

 I wish I could make that kind of money.  Pays one dollar in taxes!

Penny and Vance to Arm Wrestle at Army Navy Game

 The winner gets to belittle soldiers who have died in action and then have lunch with President Trump.

What Does Tulsi Gabbard Know About Assad's Drug Empire?

 What were her secret meetings about?  Just another day in Trump World.