White House Drains are Full of Diapers

 A plumber snakes out the drains on a weekly basis.  This is an outrage.

Trump Trades Bitcoin and Oil Painting (portrait of himself fighting in Vietnam) for Nobel Medal

 Now he can retire with 1000 boxes of classified documents to sell on eBay.

The Devil was Grunting in Trump's Throat

 He was trying to get out.  No worries.

Trump to go-fund-me money for replica Nobel Prize

ICE agents assigned to mall parking lots -- to shoot drivers parking

 You might want to take a bus to the mall and wear MAGA clothing and hats.  ICE agents need to let off steam once in a while.

Trump Dancing -- Cute!!!

 His little hands move around.  His brains and pee are sloshing in their respective bags. We're in good hands.

Trump to Rename Venezuela -- Trumpezuela

MAGA volunteers will remove all the wealth from the country and take it to Mar-a-Lago and adjacent storage units. Great addition to the Trump family empire.