Trump to Seek Asylum in Venezuela

 He likes their diapers and hamburgers.  There is no extradition for underage sex.

Snorting Cocaine off of Toilet Seats

 Qualified to work inthe Trump Administration.

Bad Bunny Scares Trump -- He Poops His Pants

 I saw a bad bunny hiking and had an accident too.  This needs to be addressed by ICE with a 

Bad Bunny Fast Response Team.

White House Drains are Full of Diapers

 A plumber snakes out the drains on a weekly basis.  This is an outrage.

Trump Trades Bitcoin and Oil Painting (portrait of himself fighting in Vietnam) for Nobel Medal

 Now he can retire with 1000 boxes of classified documents to sell on eBay.

The Devil was Grunting in Trump's Throat

 He was trying to get out.  No worries.

Trump to go-fund-me money for replica Nobel Prize