Jesus Turned 2017 this Year

and he's unrecognizable.  What a change.  White beard to mention just a few things.  Too old to return.  Sorry.

Sarah Palin's (Putin?) Family Values

Model family.  She can see Putin sun bathing from her back yard.

Giving the Rich Tax Breaks

Always a great day for republicans to honor the wealthy right in front of the poor who sit humbly
eating dog food and farting waiting for the great free market urinal to trickle down on their heads.

Trump Speaking in Tongues?

Or just advanced VD like judge Moore?

Kicked Out of Prom

The dads couldn't stop looking at Judge Moore's 12 year old date, Biblically OK in many parts of the country.

Christian Dating

An under age Russian girl run by a Russian mobster in a Trump hotel. Praise the Lord.

Alabama -- the Pervert State

Nice bunch of Xtians screwing underage girls and repenting on Sunday nights.

Average Place in Hell

Run by the NRA.  Everyone has assault rifles and shoots each other in an unending slaughter.  Also NRA heaven.

Has Trump Groped During the National Anthem?

I hope he was standing!

"Special Place in Hell"

A mancave full of assault rifles!  But no TV!

Putin Denies Groping Kevin Spacey

Can we trust him?  Our presidents try to "look him in the eye" trick with Putin. This fools rural populations, but do Ivy League grads believe in this?  Let's hear from you.

What is the relationship between eating hamburger-helper and determining character by looking in the eye?

Trump and Putin Wear Blue Shirts

Its code for something.  Its collusion.  They want to relocate in Alabama where the age of consent is 12.

Aporia in the Waldorf Astoria

"Prayer works"

Results please.  Oh, tax cuts for the rich.  Get off your knees Ryan.  Aporia in the Waldorf Astoria.

"Rich People Get Hurt Too"

Ankle sprains on yachts are up 30 percent this year.

Just Say NO to Mass Shootings

Saying no to drugs has been a huge success, no let's just say no the Mass Shootings.  Isn't that right Wayne Lapierre?

Mass Death and the Second Ammendment

If everyone in the US owned ten guns (well over a billion total) no one would ever be shot.  We would walk around pointing guns at each other but not discharging them.  The economy would suffer but the religious fervor of gun ownership would make the US heaven on earth.

AS the gun count goes down, everyone dies.  Got it!

"Era of Strategic Patience is Over"

Impeach Trump now or allow him asylum in North Korea.



Aporia in the Waldorf Astoria

Russians Fund the Blog

I apologize and I forgot.

I'm Getting Hamburger-Helper

I apologize to all vegetarians.



Aporia at the Waldorf Astoria

I Apologize for Shooting JFK

Although I don't remember the grassy knoll.  I think I was on a Trump golf course at the time.

I Apologized to the Russians

They accepted, I think.  My memory isn't clear.

I Don't Remember Apologizing

But if I did, I'm sorry.  I'm arranging for memory aides.

Drain the Swamp

I apologize.

I'm Getting Help

I apologize. But I can't remember who I assaulted.  I'll get help for that too.

I Apologize

I'm seeking treatment.






Aporia in the Waldorf Astoria

Many in the Room with Trump

They were all applauding because he is a great man, a terrific president, a tremendous golfer,
a ginormous businessman, a vertiginous statesman, a bloviating lover, a dearest father, etc.
Even the walls applaud as best they can.

Trump Akin to Cockroach

After he nukes the world, hundreds orange-haired cockroaches will scuttling around on golf courses
making themselves great again.  Hope you are there.

Let's Cover the Entire US with a Flag

Like a fumigating tent.  Whoever survives after a month is a real American or cockroach.

Major Announcement Next Week

I will be huge.

Apple Underwear

Your genitals can text and leave your hands free to call or read email!

Trump "Castrates" Tillerson

One hundred Evangelical Pastors watch with open bibles.  I'm afraid its going to happen and then Trump will say, "You're fired!"

By the end of his term Trump will be wandering around in the White House shouting at himself in mirrors.

New Trump Hat

Make Opioids Great Again.   Unfortunately, the real stuff and religion...his adopted people, sweating around the alter.

Trump: Meanest Millionaire on Earth

Just walking, talking poison.

A Tense Moron Preceded a Meeting

I think he called the meeting.  Let's be clear.

Trump Would Kill a Million People for a Round of Applause

Are you clapping?

Trump Wins IQ Test (2)

Trumps wins three legged race, British Open, dictator's arm wrestling championship, rushes for 1000 yards in the NFL with all those bad people trying to tackle him, Publisher;s House Sweepstakes, twenty dollars playing slots at one of his casinos, bingo at old folk's home...(more later)

Trump Wins IQ Contest!

He also won a groping contest, bigotry contest, nasty contest, stiffing contractor contest, erratic behavior contest, Narcissist contest...More later.

Morons

A lot of them around.  They're trying to drain the swamp.  Wink. Wink.

Pense: Pathetic Lackey

Yikes.  How low can a government go.

A Cat Posing as a Dead Dog with a Combover!

I saw it with my own eyes.  The battery was low on my phone, otherwise, I'd document the cat.

Gun Psychos!

If a guy has 25 assault rifles and kills 50 people he's a psycho.
If a guy has 25 assault rifles and fondles them he's a what?

Harvey Weinstein Runs for President

He is even more qualified than our current president.  Super Groper!

NRA's Gun of the Year!

Wouldn't you like to have it used on you while you were eating a Big Mac in "freedom."

"Bump Stock" Regulations

The domino effect in action.  Soon Americans will have to defend themselves against aliens with sticks.  If  a guy is having a bad day, how can he go out and kill a bunch of people?!

Gun Control Soon!

As soon as 150 million Americans have been shot.  That will provide the evidence to convince people to bring about change.

Assuage Rifles

Should replace assault rifles.  Nonlethal insult rifles? Somersault rifles?  Salt rifles for shooting in Sodom or Gomorrah.















Aporia in the Waldorf Astoria

Conservatives Don't Write Conservative Columns

Conservatives do.

Water Doesn't Drown People

People drown in water.

American Exceptionalism Bang Bang

Bang.  We like to shoot each other. 

David Duke to be New Fed Chairman

He will only wear his hood on Sunday.  He is a good Christian.

Trump Gives Golf Trophy to Puerto Rico

He also gave some of his nicest Imperial Wizard hoods for state occasions.

Fire the Imperial Wizard Donald Trump

for taking a knee to the constitution.  The SOB.

Tremendous Backlash Against Grand Wizard of KKK

Our Donald Trump and his NFL musings.  Bless his heart.

Trump is Grand Wizard of KKK

Yes.  You heard it first here.

Tech Giants

Amoral, greedy bastards.  Nothing more.

Donald Trump -- Mindfulness Instructor

NOT!

Everyone Will Be Shot by the Police

for 15 minutes or 15 times.

Trump Whipped Jeff Sessions

Mr. Trump used his golf belt.  Mr. Sessions cried.

Unmasking

Everyone.  Take off your masks!


Aporia in the Waldorf Astoria!

Without Makup

I haven't worn makeup in years.  When I stopped bullying I stopped wearing makeup.  It was in the Waldorf Astoria (Aporia in the Waldorf Astoria) that I last reddened my lips.  Life has been great since.

Trump in the Slammer

That will be a great day.  He can hang with the White Supremacists and get tattoos!

Spend Money in Texas

Not Afghanistan.

Donald Trump Builds Hotels for Gansters

Jimmy Carter builds houses for poor people.


























aporia in the Waldorf Astoria

Trump Pardons the Devil

Rev Falwell gets all excited.  Evangelicals are rolling in the aisles.

FYI  Mick Jagger and Jimmy Swaggart will give a concert when they are 100.  I'm hoping to be around.  How about you?

Slim Volume of Poetry

Everyone should write one.























Youth in Asia

Trump Likes Hurricanes

He can watch more TV, but its blowing his base away.  























Aporia in the Waldorf Astoria

New Album

Soon to be released.

Don't Pick on Donald Trump

He's a billionaire and his feelings are easily hurt.

Trump's Klan Robes Made in China

I was disappointed too.

Put Confederate Statues on Trump Golf Courses

Line the fairways like Easter Island heads y'all.  Unemployed alt-right types can have jobs polishing the statues and work as goose-stepping caddies.

Trump Takes Oxycondone

He need to be loaded to condemn alt-right.  It was that painful.  Bannon held him in his arms after he spoke and gave him his stuffed Hitler doll to hold for comfort.

Khakis and White Polo Shirt for White Supremacists

Nice private school look.  You could pass one of them in Whole Foods and never guess. Just watch
them in the parking lot.

Donald Trump -- First Alt-Right President

He gags if he tries to say white supremacist.  He could choke on a half-chewed cheeseburger.

1.5 Billion People Have Died Under Obama Care

And it keeps rising, only 6.5 billion to go.

Teen Goes Missing in Aruba

Ten years later Trump is elected President by Americontin.

At Least Billion People Have Died Under Obamacare

If the liberal press was honest, the number could reach a billion and a half.

Trump's Stigmata

It's all the references to women and blood.  He's about to bleed from the palms.  That's what the Evangelicals have noticed.  He's the Antichrist.

Trump Creates Word "Mean"

With some help from conservative think tanks and a grant of a billions dollars from the Koch brothers, Donald Trump came up with the world "mean" to describe the press.  He did not, we believe, invent the word fake.

Like to Shoot People Stateside?

Become a policeman.  Aporia in the Waldorf Astoria.  Thoughts and Prayers without editorial comment. Flarf Poets in unmarked cars.

Fake Thoughts and Witch Hunt Prayers

Doesn't leave a lot of room to breath let alone some other popular mental activities.  Try jumping jacks or 4 count burpies.

Shaming Thoughts and Apologetic Prayers

But was the apology sincere?  Was the shame necessary?

Aporia in the Waldorf Astoria!

Fat Thoughts and Skinny Prayers

Shaming results!

Fat Lie Shaming

Do we have to characterize the shape of lies, like the photos of the president in golf attire?

Total(ly) Thoughts and Unrecognizable Prayers

You may not know what you are praying about but there are billions of results to choose from.


Aporia in the Waldorf Astoria!

Trump Wants to Tweet on Cross

Trump will not agree to Crucifixion if he can't tweet.  Liberty theologians are meeting to make a ruling.  He wants showgirls on the other two crosses.

Donald Trump -- Evangelical Messiah

and fornicator!  But he sounds unbalanced when he makes a speech like every neighborhood pastor
screwing the soprano in the choir!

That Trump boy can tweet and chew gum at the same time!

When he gets the silver golf club out of his mouth.

Covfefe the presidential dog

Please get a dog for Trump.  Perhaps the National Review can get a conservative establishment dog for the president to talk to, play with and take for a very short walk.

Covfefe -- Alien Talk

The president is communicating with the aliens who are calling the shots through his presidential/tycoon mind!  I believe it is spelled kovfefe.

Trump War Room

Will body slam opponents.  Have hookers on hand as well.  Plenty of hamburgers.  Are real man cave.  Russian Porn!

Racial Rants

Dead white guys popped up out of the earth and voted illegally for Trump then began ranting racist BS.  They are reproducing at an alarming rate.

Body Slam (Poetry Slam)

Make America Great Again!  Duterte of the Mountain West.  How about some body shaming while we're at it.

Hannity Doesn't Need Advertising!

It's for liberal wimps!  He can fight through the vast web of conspiracy by himself with an ax.  Fox viewers don't buy anything anyway.

Free Melania!

She doesn't look very happy.  Send suggestions.

Trump Chooses Hulk Hogan for Outside Counsel

You know that was coming.  Great appeal to Make America Great again crowd.  Russian approved. Putin is very excited.  Steven Seagul is also on retainer.

Trump Gropes Orb

A truly inspiring moment for world peace and commerce.  The orb was begging for it.

Roger Stone is Puking

Roll up your pant legs, here comes a gallon of borscht.

18 undisclosed calls to Russia

Wow.  Draining the Swamp.  Creating manufacturing jobs.  Finding out if Russia will take Millions of illegal aliens.  (Got any good hookers for European Rondezvoux?!)

Aporia in the Waldorf Astoria!  Religion is the opiate of the masses.  Cheeseburgers are nutritious!

Liberty University -- Your Redeemer Liveth

Yes, Donald Trump.  The man more persecuted than Christ.  And you had the vision to welcome him and his foul smelling groping hands.


Students:  want your tuition back?

No Politician in History

has eating more cheeseburgers, watched more television, read more National Enquirers and groped more women than President Trump.

Troubled Thoughts and very Troubled Prayers

Were they given fake answers?  (Answers to your prayers!)

Aporia at the Waldorf Astoria

Trump at Rikers Island!

He'll turn it into a palace!

Trump asks Paul Ryan to spend less time doing crunches

And more time finding ways to give billionaires tax breaks! There's tape on it.

Aporia in the Waldorf Astoria

(Aporia in Peoria was used by a poet and this blog received Cease and Desist paperwork from a flarf lawyer)

8 Billion Fascists

The number is too high and it comes close to the world's population.  Some day everyone will own a piece of Sheetrock from Home Depot and all will be well.  May the force be with you.  Aporia in Peoria.

Trump at Liberty University

He's only welcome at a right wing crazy religion school?  Isn't there a university of groping and reality TV?  Baylor has the groping down.

Jeff Sessions: Moral Runt

He's posing as a moral giant trying to make harsh punishment work.  Some day it will work.

880 Billion in Medicaid Cuts

This will just about pay for Trumps visits to Mar a Lago.  Money well spent.



























Aporia in Peoria

Sean Spicer Takes Tumeric

He uses turmeric for clarity and other health benefits. All of the administration will soon take turmeric imported from Russia.  Vladimir Putin has used turmeric for years.  He memorized all the counties of Wisconsin in ten minutes.

Egg Roll Atrocities

Sean Spicer ate egg rolls in the bushes so he wouldn't have to share them with reporters.

I would do the same if I liked egg rolls and was hounded by reporters.  Neither are true.  I'm tormented by Aporia in Peoria.

Flarf poets are playing bongo drums on my front lawn.

EyeRoll Atrocities

Trade marked by this blog.  Poet's may use it when desperate for descriptor, if you are a describer.
Actually, its a good title for a volume of poetry, probably a flarf chapbook.  Nothing to sneeze at.  Into your elbow please, although the spray us underestimated.

Type in Name "Thoughts" Amazing Results "Prayers"

Another healing platform.  Leave your devices in the box.

Trump Casino "4 cents on the dollar"

The country will be worth 4 cents on the dollar when he's done -- except his trillionaire buddies.

"Very Nauseous"

Guess why?  Its not overeating.

"Mildly Nauseous"

Many of us are.

Progressives Insulting Trump

Not helpful.

Aporia in Peoria T shirts will be available soon.

Duterte Will Head National Endowment for the Arts

President Trump will nominate Rodrigo Duterte as president of the NEA.

Aporia in Peoria will be funded by the NEA.

Trump and Duterte will Shoot Meth Freaks

President Trump will invite his best friend (after Putin) President Duterte to execute meth dealers and users at Mar a Lago.  The presidents will use assault rifles and shoot a group of meth users on one of the presidents golf courses.  Good clean fun Judges of the Ninth district!

100 North Korean Missiles at Mar a Largo

President Trump buys NK missiles to defend his resort.  It's considered a brilliant diplomatic move.

100 Days of Golf

President Trump plays 100 rounds of golf with Kim Jong Un.

1000 Years of "Terrific"

A motorized Donald Trump head continuously says the world "terrific" for one hundred years.  The placement of the head has not been determined but it should be in coal country and not a museum.

Aporia in Peoria did not lead to tongues.

Oily Thoughts Soapy Prayers

In what cases is oily skin OK?  The is not a beauty blog, far from it.

 Aporia in Peoria.  I was there with oily skin and a bout of aporia.  How I eased this crisis is for another time.

102 Years of Republican Tax Cuts

Can't get any lower than nothing.

101 Trombones Play Tribute

to Kardashian vomit.  It's ok if you like brass.

100 Years of Girl Scout Cookies

and Kardashian vomit.

Many girl scouts aspire to be like the Kardashians.

This is not fake news.

They take money from the Russians.

Aporia in Peoria.

100 Years of Solitude

and terrific Kardashian vomit.

100 Days

of Kardashian vomit.



















Aporia in Peoria

Tirade(l) Thoughts Apologetic Prayers

A man is know by his tirade.

Bill O'Reilly Goes Shopping

What will he buy to make himself feel better or do something nice for himself?

Maybe a yacht!

Thread Thoughts Bare Prayers

This is a good thing if it is your predilection.


































Aporia in Peoria.  I have doubted the existences of other places as well.

Before Thoughts After Prayers

What is this in Latin?
Is it the same place or has it been altered?
What has transpired?
Is there agency involved?
Is aporia in Peoria addressed?

Stunning Thoughts and Plunging Prayers

This is a variation.  But I thought it was necessary in light of the dropping or plunging of the "mother of all bombs."  President Trump was wearing his birkini and eating a hamburger watching a private video of Bill O'Reilly doing some "research."

Fabrication is a Fabrication!

You can take that to a bank and lose your shirt. Aporia in Peoria!

Stunning Thoughts Drop Dead Prayers

On the red carpet or off this is a winning formulation. Aporia in Peoria.

Don't Fire Spicer!

He fits in perfectly with the Trump regime.  Needs to improve his tweeting though.

President Trump Wears Burkini

He wore it when he was demoting Steve Bannon. Steverino was really mad.  So it goes.

White Men Flee Trump!

He runs after blaming them for being poor, uneducated, unemployed, sickly, for the Middle East, his inconsistent golf game, leaks from the White House, wire tapping, disease, climate change, trade imbalance, tooth decay, BO, diarrhea, athletes foot, indigestion, losing the election, etc.

Arkansas Football Player Prays

He prays that he won't be shot by a drunken fan during a game.
Arkansas fans pray that they can carry guns everywhere.
Arkansas psychos pray that they can shoot someone.
Arkansas politicians pray that they can utilize capitol punishment as often as possible.
Everyone in Arkansas is praying and the world is a better place for all that prayer.

Nunes Speaks to One-Armed Man with Russian Accent

Boy did he had a lot to tell!  Or did he just complain?

Body-Shamed Thoughts Shut-Down Prayers

Happens all the time.

x

x

Nazi in White House

What's the problem?  Trump would never associate with a Nazi.  Wire tap doesn't mean wire tap and Nazi doesn't mean Nazi.  Right?

Wiretap: Alternate Meanings

Eating a hamburger

Playing Golf

Absence of cellulite

Origination story of microwaves

Groping

Gold leafing animate objects

Animism In a Baptist church

Lugubrious descriptors

Aporia in Peoria

Naugahyde furniture made in Mexico

Binge watching anything included rooms without windows

Deals hastily put together

Heimlich maneuver while watching golf

Listening with a glass to the wall

Farting in the Lincoln bedroom

Expandable golf pants

A physical performed by a veterinarian

(This is a partial list.  More to come.)

$207,000 tax cut

Rich people have to buy groceries just like the rest of us.  (Aporia in Peoria)

Con way's Brain Was Microwaved!

It's going to start running out of her ears any day now.

Deep State in My Rumpus Room

Yeah, a masked man was trying to vote illegally!

The Poor Don't Want Health Care

The poor want the rich to get richer.  They want to wear Trump hats.  They want to go fight and die in pointless wars.  They want to oil their assault rifles.  They want to die in agony in the hospital parking lot.  Thank you congressmen for bring this to our attention.

Marine Porn Photo Problem

The president would make a terrific special prosecutor...wink, wink.  He could spend the next four years looking at the evidence and interviewing the aggrieved.

Trump Tough Border Talk

Hell, there are rooms in my house I've been afraid to go in.

Deep State -- Deep Throat

Hard to swallow.




















Aporia in Peoria!

Baby Bump Prayers and Vast Shanty Town Prayers

A lot of those bumps are headed to shanty towns.

Take Literally

Trump will destroy the English language, something no one has done yet.

Facts Speak for Themselves

Just like Helen Keller learning to read.  Remember thoughts and prayers or better and more helpful, prayers then thoughts.  Aporia in Peoria.

Chaffetz: Spend Less on Stupid Pills

Spend more on thoughts, less on prayers.  To Review.  Stop taking stupid pills and praying.  Spend more time thinking and investigating cartoons.  I do realize that cartoons do not help with the thinking but they your investigations keep us safe and stupid.

Work in Progress (Aporia in Peoria)

Work thoughts, progress prayers?  Just what is a work in progress?  If progress is examined, what does it mean?  What is work?  Honest work?  Dishonest work and for whom?

Kelly Wants to Cut Children in Half

The mother can take one half of her child across the border.  Our government can keep the other half as a deposit.  The mother can get the other half child back after completing several bureaucratic exercises.

The President has said that he likes children.

Spicer Picks up Phone and Hears Heavy Breathing!

A tap! Proof!  Unless the president is playing a trick on him.

Terrible! Just Found Out Someone Has VD (tertiary) in the White House

NO, not the president. Just a minor adviser or even staff.  There is visible rot, a dripping that is deadly, worse than the imagined WMD's of Iraq -- but real.  It will slowly destroy Washington, poisonous scum on the surface of the swamp.

This person needs to be isolated for the safety of all Americans and so that American can be Great Again and the president can go ahead with his tweeting.  What if some of the pus squirted on the presidents Tweeter?!

Congress, please investigate but wear hazmat suits.

Trump Listens to Talking Turd

In the White House there is a turd in a jar that the president listens to before he tweets.  The turd is knows and is very wise.

Mike Pense is a creation of creationism

Hillary Clinton not so.  Hence the discrepancy in email use.  Lest spend another year investigating Clinton's email problem to Trump can make billions with his Russian Oligarch buddies!

Camp David too Rustic for President?

He fears a recurrence of the bone spurs that kept him out of the war in VietNam, even the golfing unit.  It was a great disappointment in his life.

The Man who Predicted Thoughts now Predicts Prayers

He made a lot of other predictions.  How can we hold him accountable?  Or should we just leave him among the endless yappers yapping?  Aporia in Peoria!

The Trumps are so Corrupt

that even their babies have rubles stuffed in their diapers!

Rand Paul Bangs on Door

Paul Ryan is inside dreaming about 30 million Americans without health insurance dying on their trailer floors.  That's the Ryan smile, if you didn't know.

Dirty Water Act

It's a lot cheaper and easier to enforce.  You have to admit that.

Kelleyanne Conway -- Teenager Texting

But are her texts lies!

54 Billion Dollars Defense Increase

To bomb the NY Times and CNN.  Donald can keep the change.

Ivanka Trump's Perfume

Donald's armpit after an exhausting tweet session.

Trump at the White House

He is watching video of audiences cheering for him.  He is eating a hamburger.  He wishes Chris Christie could taste it for him to check for poisoning.

Trump Will be the Most Corrupt President in HIstory

That's why he spends all his time delegitimizing the media because they will bring the bad news. The blog is banned from white house secret conversations with Russian Oligarchs.

Trump Saves a Trillion Dollars

On military chewing gum.  How about the congressional cafeteria.  Aporia in Peoria.

Flip and Flap

Flop and Flup
Frop and Plop
Phlip and Frap

Who gives a Flip.

Adam Purinton -- Trump Enthusiast

Mentally ill
hateful
armed
making American Great Again
(Won't be getting the factory job any time soon unless Trump pardons him.  Too bad, there will be millions of non union jobs available soon)
aporia in Peoria

Everything That's Ever Been Said is a Lie Except ...

What President Trump says or tweets.  History is complete.  Christians have their Messiah.
We are living in the Rapture center in Mar a Lago for $200,000 membership.  Guess that leaves some of looking in.  Oh well.  As we like to say, aporia in Peoria.

Trump Saves a Billion Dollars in Peanut Grants

Obliviously a liberal do-good program.

DeVos Open Mouth

Please find a picture of her with her mouth closed.

Asunsophisticated

Aporia in Peoria.

Adviser Disagrees with Trump -- Gets Reassignment Surgery

Kind of extreme and expensive, but they need to work as a team.

Yianopoulous Will be Having Less Fun in the Coming Years

Maybe he can't get a job in the Trump administration writing jokes for the president.  We could luse some laughs.

Cardboard Saluters

have taken over America.  They are everywhere voting illegally.  There are billionaire cardboard saluters!

Trump Yells at Sweeden

The president was eating a hamburger (several) and began yelling at Sweden for cheating in golf,
not applauding loud enough at his rallies and giving a high bid  (IKEA) for furnishing the new Embassy/Trump Hotel in Jerusalem.  He wanted to yell longer but began choking on his food.  A big secret service agent managed to administer the Heimlich maneuver and dispel the burger wad which knocked Sean Spicer unconscious.

Cardboard Trump in Sweden

Saluting?  That's idolatry.  I hope you're not a Christian or shop at IKEA.  Maybe you have salad speech problems.  Sorry.

President Trump -- Unloved Human

Please send him cards and flowers.  Tell him he's great, a terrific guy before he harms himself, our country or some other innocent country.

Trump is NOT Suffering from Syphilis!

My sources (were not authorized so speak or grunt) say that the President does not suffer from syphilis, although the Russians have hours a video of the president in the hotels of Europe singing in the shower.

Made to Eat Meatloaf at a Black Site

Aren't there Nuremberg Laws to prevent this.

Steve Bannon's Liver Speaks Esperanto

I'm publishing this but I'm not sure Donald Trump is hearing Esperanto.  It must be a language within the former Soviet Union, though, or Putin speaking in tongues among Russian Pentecostals.

Bannon to Donate His Liver to Breibart

He's a nice guy.  Might have to skip cocktails once and a while.

Briebart to Fire Bill Belichick

We've had no contact with the Russians.  That Russia even exists if fake news.

Mentally Ill Congress

Votes to let mentally ill people buy guns.  Thanks.  Pray about it.

Trump is Strong!

He once armed wrestled one of his Russian Oligarch buddies and won easily!

Conway Discipline

She will have to wear clothes from Target for one year.

Terrorists -- You can find classified docuements blowing around the Mar a Lago Golf Course

I'm sure security crews are out picking up papers around the facility.  Maybe some undocumented aliens are working on it.  There are probably some Russian agents, the President's business partners, showing some interest. Why not just sell them?

Flynn Got His Boatload of Rubles and Left Town

He's going to build a giant woopycushion factory in Appalachia. Terrific jobs.

Russia Sends Super Models as Present for the President

This is all above board. I'm sure there is something that they can do to earn their keep.  Perhaps they are spies!

Bill Gates Promises a Golden Shower

in every bathroom.  A very trendy avocation.  Apparently, imported from Russia.  Side effects are believed to be gaslighting and salad speech, like a mad hatter.  Hope it isn't catching. Wash your hands before you tweet.

Death Panel

If you hear someone say death panel, you know that they are on the "death panel" wanting to take away insurance from millions of people.  You know who these people are.  Stop licking their shoes.

Ballistic Gel

Right wing soul.

A Giant Golden Cloud Over the White House

Naturally, golden showers.  The Trumps and their staff have all the pots and pans out collecting the liquid gold.  It's an asset. Nothing wrong with making some money.  Maybe a vacation in St. Petersburg!   (Don't stay at the same hotel)

Fake Golden Showers in St. Petersburg

Of course they are fake, but wet.  Golden, but fake.  Terrific, but fake.

Conway's Face is Melting!

Instead of getting a really long nose, K. Conway's face is falling apart.  Her jaw will soon dislocate like snakes eating large animals.  I think Franklin Graham should pray for her.

Ken Starr -- Christian Rape Apologist

Trump administration!  Couldn't land in a better place!
He's also get a curiosity about you know what!

Kellyanne Thoughts and Conway Prayers

Does she thrust her jaw out to gaslight the Lord?   Maybe she just does the "Now I lay me down to sleep.."  That's kind of a cute prayer.  Not as good as aporia in Peoria.

Trumps Goon Squad Going After Judges?

Did Bannon order this?  Grand Wizard of the White House.

Ivanka Trump White Nationalist Hoodies

Yes.  I heard they were in the works.  Look for Sean Spicer to start wearing them.

Trump Takes Conway to WH Woodshed

Yikes!  Do they have a woodshed?  I hope she wore body armor.

Kellyanne Conway Will Be Selling Non-Stick Frying Pans Soom

The pans will be for a dummy company of Trumps.  It will take years to establish the connection.  But if we can cut down on fat, might help keep costs down for TrumpCare a terrific program.

Trump Accuses Jesus of Faking Crucifiction

He likes Saviors who don't get crucified.  Saviors who play golf.

Trump Cuts Off Supporters Leg With Chain Saw!

Supporter thrilled.  Thanks Trump for the leg (thinking its a gift).  Tells Trump he's doing a great job.

Send the White House the Weekly Reader

They can keep up with events and not take away from TV time.  Great early morning reading.  Maybe a few National Geographics, older ones where they did not care about the environment so much.

Maybe one of the many billionaires can stop draining the swamp for a moment and write weekly reader check.  Subscribe for a class, maybe 25 copies.  Someone from the American Enterprise Institute can come over and help with the reading. A few maps might help as well.  A hamburger for the president if he pays attention!

White House is also called the Funny Farm

not really funny.

Funny thoughts amusing prayers.

Heidegger plays pee wee golf

aporia in peoria

Trump Calls Gorsuch a "Loser" -- may Rescind Nomination

Gorsuch wants to practice law in a bathrobe.  Kelleyanne Conway may be nominated for the Supreme Court.

Trump Attacks God Again (Wearing a Bathrobe!)

Trump was wearing a bathrobe when he attacked God.  Whether God (as victim) wore a bathrobe is unknowable as is the hour of retribution.  Trump may be outside the retributary world in which case, he is also God and in a bathrobe.  So he maybe talking to himself while he watches TV.  This is not helping Kelleyanne Conway keep her story straight.

The first follower of this blog will win an orange Naugahyde couch when I can find it.  I don't know about delivery. Not cheap.

Trump Attacks God

for being useless in human affairs.  The president will make things right.  He has the religious right behind him.  The combined efforts, thoughts and prayers will produce Klan sheets out of think air!

Blistering Thoughts Blistered Prayers

Cause and effect, no? Although one could think and another pray.  That would provide the disconnect.  Blistering is a metaphor, I believe.  So is blistered prayers.  So is prayers.  What is thinking then?  Vestigial?

Trump Claims T-Rexs Slaughtering People in Bible Belt

Millions are dead.  T-Rexs raised by terrorists in secret zoos.

Spicer Will Try Humor!

Got a joke I heard from a second grader.  What do you call a bear with no teeth?  A gummy bear!

This might draw attention away from your boss who keeps seeing things (on a large scale) that aren't there, like aliens!

Washington DC Destroyed by Terrorists

Liberal news media refuses to report on horrible destruction.  Dead lobbyists floating in the swamp!

Mike Pense Defends a Bear Shi$%#%$ in the Woods

The bear was a Putin lookalike.

Trump Loves Extra-Judicial Killings

They're terrific.  Why both with waterboarding.  The water can be used on golf courses.

So-Called Thought and So-Called Prayers

this can't end well, even in an alternative bad ending.

President Trump has Chronic Diaper Rash

This explains why he so grouchy.  Please find an ointment!

Trump Wears Giant Diapers

The President wears diapers when he tweets.  Sean Spicer changes them.  The plans are to involve more staff in tweet cleanup short of a scandal.

Everybody Loves Trump!

Ask him.

Trump Kissing Commie Thug Ass

Supreme Court Nominees in Bathing Suit Competition

They will wear tasteful one piece suits and walk the ramp for Trump and has staff.  Not cellulite please!

Netanyahu and Trump Will Have Paper and Crayons to Draw Pictures of Bombs!

At least they won't be dropping them.

Kelleyanne Conway: WWE Wrestler

I think she could do it!  Go girl!

Trump to Grope Queen! (MI5 Alert!) (Aporia in Peoria)

MI5 and MI6 are both worried that President Trump will try to grope the queen which could cause an international incident, especially if they have to tase him to get him off.

Kelleyanne Conway is practicing her denial of video showing the President with his hand in an inappropriate place.  Conway will blame the camera.

Senator Ryan -- Trump Ass Kisser

He's got his nose way up there.  Anything to return to millions of Americans without health insurance.

Send Trump to Gitmo -- its a Trump Brand for Sure

He's pro terror and needs to be waterboarded until his BMI is at a more healthy level.  Consider it a fat farm and reeducation resort.  He can have his business back.  His whole family needs treatment.

Donald Trump Revealed Who He Voted for and His Fans are Shocked!

He's already aged.  Buy orange hair dye stock!  Actually, he forgot what he was doing at the precinct.  He went home and watched Wheel of Fortune to bone up on policy.

Franklin Grahmn: Satan's Spawn

Bannon Wants to Fly Drones Over College Towns to Shoot Progressives

Pat still has this orange Naugahyde couch for sale...cheap.

Trump and Saudi King Have Hot Dog Eating Contest

Kellyanne Conway will announce the winner this week.

Statue of Liberty in Trump Toilet

We need a make-work project to build a toilet large enough to house the State of Liberty.  Maybe one of Trump's companies can do the work.

Trump: Commie Implant

He was raised by moles! (Illegal voters!)

Trump Practices Enhanced Interrogation on Sean Spicer

The president has on numerous occasions tried the sleeper hold Jack Bauer uses on 24.  The president has discontinued the hold because Mr. Spicer is sounding more and more like the "dumb" character on a sitcom.

Steve Bannon Sent to Black Site

for interrogation into voter fraud. Millions of fraudulent voters help elect Trump!

Trump to Investigate Area 51

President trump believes illegal voters live in large dormitories in are 51.  He will secure the area and bring the shocking scandal that threatens our Democracy to light.

Undaunted Thoughts and Dismissed Prayers

How have the prayers been dismissed and by whom?  There is still hope of a reversal of fortune.  Although fortune suggests something capricious and outside, not necessarily the intended agency.
This could be a diversionary tactic or Tic Tac.

Hammering Thoughts and Debunked Prayers

It smells sweaty, of desperation.  Praying the wrong prayer.  I hope you are paying attention.  You know whom I'm talking about.

Millions of Invisible Alien Voters are Wandering Around America

Sean Spicer can hear them.  He's out with a spray can marking them.
Kelleyanne Conway can see them.  She's marking them too, although she chipped a nail and had to return to urgent care.
Trump is growling with a mouthful of Big Mac.
We'd appreciate your help.

Alternate Facts (3) Christopher Columbus Can See Trump Tower from the Middle of the Atlantic!

If the earth is flat, pipelines can run up to the edge.  We haven't determined if the earth is a rectangle and how gravity works on the edges.

If the earth is round, then the pipelines curve around the earth.

If the earth is a rectangle, then the pipelines may have to turn at acute and obtuse angles.  Sharp angles in pipes can lead to clogging.

There are many more true descriptions of the shape of the earth.

Conway Does Morning Cheer for President

Give us a ...

T   terrific  (an uplifting Pealian idea.  Donald remembers sitting in a pew looking at his huge hands         thinking that he would lift himself up by his own bootstraps, in spite of the odds.)

R   repeal, but sometimes reservation.  If Conway yells out internment camp for journalists Spicer             gets nervous.  Trumps interrupts and talks about his hotel development plan that he hopes to               merge  with Russian psychiatric hospitals stretching into the Middle East.

U  umperical  (a combination of umpire and empirical.  Trump makes the calls on the material and          mental world.)

M  McDonalds!  What else needs to be said.

P   President (or Pussy if the President is felling naughty)

Trump Admires Comey's Huge Hands

Big hand brothers.  Great High Fives!

Sean Spicer Hears Voices (Disconnected from Bodies)

Well, there are a lot of people talking in the White House.  I hear billionaires like to talk.  And Kellyanne Conway (Twitty) won't stop talking!  Jeeez.

50 Million Illegal Votes for Trump!

Aliens posing as Mexicans arrived via a vast series of tunnels and vote for Trump in cities and towns across America. Trump is right to be outraged at the carnage!

Let's begin filling int he tunnels as part of the works project.

Sean Spicer -- Wheel of Fortune "Aporia in Peoria"

Wasn't he a contestant on Wheel of Fortune?  If anybody knows -- no alternative facts or fake news please -- let me know.

Trump Will Undergo Finger Enlargement Surgery

Abe Lincoln had huge hands.  Think how impressive Trump's hand gestures will be with larger hands.  And groping!

Alternative Facts (3)

The Trump administration is trapped in the Many Worlds Theory and can get out.  They need the Many Worlds Clapper.  Stray off into alternate dimensions and squeeze the clapper.  Haven't seen such a high profile example of MW Syndrome.  It's not their fault.

Leave the Trump boy alone until he's 18 and gets his billion dollar bonus from the US taxpayers.

Alternative Facts (2)

from alternative brains.  Can't say much good about alternative brains.

Alternate facts

from the girl next door.

Trump: Small Crowd, Small Hands

Smallest hands of any president in history of US.  Proof he could not grope women.  He could stump them, but not grope.

Mnuchin forgets 100 million

That's chump change.  If you have to ask...  Swamp change is what its called in  Manhattan.

Santorum Believes

the hacking scandal was cause by little green pro-life aliens the infiltrated the U.S. from the Mexican border.  A wall would have prevented this, although it would not have stopped their space craft.

Flip or Flop (Foucault's Sawzall)

Trump flips out, I know, how would anyone know or he flops.  He falls over backwards and can't get up.  Even Putin can't lift him.

Put Your Big Boy Pants On

and screw democracy! Corrupt big boy bigot!

Trump to Meet Hatfields and McCoys

Just say stop it!  (Hear that Vladimir?)

Ringling Brother's Circus Closing

It's moving to the White House.  (Fake News)

The Devil's Ass Tweets too

He bends over and lets tweets fly in the early morning hours.  Maybe he's in communication with the newly elected President.

Vast Right Wing Pro Russian Conspiracy

Right in front of you with the orange monster tweeting.

Scathing Thoughts and Abusive Prayers

From Anger to Abuse.  A seldom heard country western song.  While not heard much practiced.

Southern Bigot/Bigfoot

How embarrassing.

Draining the Swamp (Polycarp bowls in a post industrial town)

Get the millionaires out of town.  They stink.  Bring in the Billionaires, right small town America!

Trump's Tweeting

After tweeting Trump has to be packed in ice.  His aides have a meeting to interpret the tweets and make them presentable.  He is an idiot-savant.  But he can eat hamburgers and watch TV at the same time.

By the End of His Presidency Trump Will Say

"I can't even afford a cheeseburger."

Aporia in Peoria  (He didn't say that.  He knows everything.)

Donald Trump Reads Flarf Poetry

While eating hamburgers and watching reality TV which bolsters his claim of intelligence.

President Trump Says The World is Flat

He is a round denier.  Some of his hotels would be upside down if the earth were round.

Can the Mormon Tabernacle Choir fit into Trump Tower Manhattan?

Trump Will Appoint Julian Assange to His Cabinet

Mr. Assange will also join the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Trump and Putin Cook Smores on White House Lawn

Mr. Putin ate several then did twenty pushups.

Trump Knows Second Cause

He knows it follows the first.  But his real genius is knowing the first.  Vladimir Putin does not know the first but Trump will tell him on their first sleepover.

Trump Knows First Cause

He took a bite out of a Big Mac and the world was formed in one hour.

Mormon Tabernacle Choir Will Sing "Strange Fruit" at the Second Coming.

I don't have anything to ad except that AdSense people, some of my best friends, are fun to hang out with and always pick up the checks in restaurants.  They make so much friggin money at Google.  Is Google printing $100 dollar bills?  How about making counterfeiting part of Drive or Docs?

Just kidding.

Sweeping Conservative Agenda

The unregulated harvesting of you internal organs or just sweeping?  Sweeping would be a government make-work.  That wouldn't happen unless its was incarceration for being poor or just free work to ward off evil.

AdSense

The beginning of a Fake Fake News (c) Empire and adaptation of blogging for free-form tweeting.  A mixed media project.  No MacArther Grant needed. Illuminati amanuensis hangout.

President Trump Has Secret Information

He received the information in the wrapper of a hamburger sent by a courier.  I certainly hope he has a Big Mac taster or better yet, a Mac Donalds in the White House. (Fake News)