Supreme Court Nominees in Bathing Suit Competition

They will wear tasteful one piece suits and walk the ramp for Trump and has staff.  Not cellulite please!

Netanyahu and Trump Will Have Paper and Crayons to Draw Pictures of Bombs!

At least they won't be dropping them.

Kelleyanne Conway: WWE Wrestler

I think she could do it!  Go girl!

Trump to Grope Queen! (MI5 Alert!) (Aporia in Peoria)

MI5 and MI6 are both worried that President Trump will try to grope the queen which could cause an international incident, especially if they have to tase him to get him off.

Kelleyanne Conway is practicing her denial of video showing the President with his hand in an inappropriate place.  Conway will blame the camera.

Senator Ryan -- Trump Ass Kisser

He's got his nose way up there.  Anything to return to millions of Americans without health insurance.

Send Trump to Gitmo -- its a Trump Brand for Sure

He's pro terror and needs to be waterboarded until his BMI is at a more healthy level.  Consider it a fat farm and reeducation resort.  He can have his business back.  His whole family needs treatment.

Donald Trump Revealed Who He Voted for and His Fans are Shocked!

He's already aged.  Buy orange hair dye stock!  Actually, he forgot what he was doing at the precinct.  He went home and watched Wheel of Fortune to bone up on policy.

Franklin Grahmn: Satan's Spawn

Bannon Wants to Fly Drones Over College Towns to Shoot Progressives

Pat still has this orange Naugahyde couch for sale...cheap.

Trump and Saudi King Have Hot Dog Eating Contest

Kellyanne Conway will announce the winner this week.

Statue of Liberty in Trump Toilet

We need a make-work project to build a toilet large enough to house the State of Liberty.  Maybe one of Trump's companies can do the work.

Trump: Commie Implant

He was raised by moles! (Illegal voters!)

Trump Practices Enhanced Interrogation on Sean Spicer

The president has on numerous occasions tried the sleeper hold Jack Bauer uses on 24.  The president has discontinued the hold because Mr. Spicer is sounding more and more like the "dumb" character on a sitcom.

Steve Bannon Sent to Black Site

for interrogation into voter fraud. Millions of fraudulent voters help elect Trump!

Trump to Investigate Area 51

President trump believes illegal voters live in large dormitories in are 51.  He will secure the area and bring the shocking scandal that threatens our Democracy to light.

Undaunted Thoughts and Dismissed Prayers

How have the prayers been dismissed and by whom?  There is still hope of a reversal of fortune.  Although fortune suggests something capricious and outside, not necessarily the intended agency.
This could be a diversionary tactic or Tic Tac.

Hammering Thoughts and Debunked Prayers

It smells sweaty, of desperation.  Praying the wrong prayer.  I hope you are paying attention.  You know whom I'm talking about.

Millions of Invisible Alien Voters are Wandering Around America

Sean Spicer can hear them.  He's out with a spray can marking them.
Kelleyanne Conway can see them.  She's marking them too, although she chipped a nail and had to return to urgent care.
Trump is growling with a mouthful of Big Mac.
We'd appreciate your help.

Alternate Facts (3) Christopher Columbus Can See Trump Tower from the Middle of the Atlantic!

If the earth is flat, pipelines can run up to the edge.  We haven't determined if the earth is a rectangle and how gravity works on the edges.

If the earth is round, then the pipelines curve around the earth.

If the earth is a rectangle, then the pipelines may have to turn at acute and obtuse angles.  Sharp angles in pipes can lead to clogging.

There are many more true descriptions of the shape of the earth.

Conway Does Morning Cheer for President

Give us a ...

T   terrific  (an uplifting Pealian idea.  Donald remembers sitting in a pew looking at his huge hands         thinking that he would lift himself up by his own bootstraps, in spite of the odds.)

R   repeal, but sometimes reservation.  If Conway yells out internment camp for journalists Spicer             gets nervous.  Trumps interrupts and talks about his hotel development plan that he hopes to               merge  with Russian psychiatric hospitals stretching into the Middle East.

U  umperical  (a combination of umpire and empirical.  Trump makes the calls on the material and          mental world.)

M  McDonalds!  What else needs to be said.

P   President (or Pussy if the President is felling naughty)

Trump Admires Comey's Huge Hands

Big hand brothers.  Great High Fives!

Sean Spicer Hears Voices (Disconnected from Bodies)

Well, there are a lot of people talking in the White House.  I hear billionaires like to talk.  And Kellyanne Conway (Twitty) won't stop talking!  Jeeez.

50 Million Illegal Votes for Trump!

Aliens posing as Mexicans arrived via a vast series of tunnels and vote for Trump in cities and towns across America. Trump is right to be outraged at the carnage!

Let's begin filling int he tunnels as part of the works project.

Sean Spicer -- Wheel of Fortune "Aporia in Peoria"

Wasn't he a contestant on Wheel of Fortune?  If anybody knows -- no alternative facts or fake news please -- let me know.

Trump Will Undergo Finger Enlargement Surgery

Abe Lincoln had huge hands.  Think how impressive Trump's hand gestures will be with larger hands.  And groping!

Alternative Facts (3)

The Trump administration is trapped in the Many Worlds Theory and can get out.  They need the Many Worlds Clapper.  Stray off into alternate dimensions and squeeze the clapper.  Haven't seen such a high profile example of MW Syndrome.  It's not their fault.

Leave the Trump boy alone until he's 18 and gets his billion dollar bonus from the US taxpayers.

Alternative Facts (2)

from alternative brains.  Can't say much good about alternative brains.

Alternate facts

from the girl next door.

Trump: Small Crowd, Small Hands

Smallest hands of any president in history of US.  Proof he could not grope women.  He could stump them, but not grope.

Mnuchin forgets 100 million

That's chump change.  If you have to ask...  Swamp change is what its called in  Manhattan.

Santorum Believes

the hacking scandal was cause by little green pro-life aliens the infiltrated the U.S. from the Mexican border.  A wall would have prevented this, although it would not have stopped their space craft.

Flip or Flop (Foucault's Sawzall)

Trump flips out, I know, how would anyone know or he flops.  He falls over backwards and can't get up.  Even Putin can't lift him.

Put Your Big Boy Pants On

and screw democracy! Corrupt big boy bigot!

Trump to Meet Hatfields and McCoys

Just say stop it!  (Hear that Vladimir?)

Ringling Brother's Circus Closing

It's moving to the White House.  (Fake News)

The Devil's Ass Tweets too

He bends over and lets tweets fly in the early morning hours.  Maybe he's in communication with the newly elected President.

Vast Right Wing Pro Russian Conspiracy

Right in front of you with the orange monster tweeting.

Scathing Thoughts and Abusive Prayers

From Anger to Abuse.  A seldom heard country western song.  While not heard much practiced.

Southern Bigot/Bigfoot

How embarrassing.

Draining the Swamp (Polycarp bowls in a post industrial town)

Get the millionaires out of town.  They stink.  Bring in the Billionaires, right small town America!

Trump's Tweeting

After tweeting Trump has to be packed in ice.  His aides have a meeting to interpret the tweets and make them presentable.  He is an idiot-savant.  But he can eat hamburgers and watch TV at the same time.

By the End of His Presidency Trump Will Say

"I can't even afford a cheeseburger."

Aporia in Peoria  (He didn't say that.  He knows everything.)

Donald Trump Reads Flarf Poetry

While eating hamburgers and watching reality TV which bolsters his claim of intelligence.

President Trump Says The World is Flat

He is a round denier.  Some of his hotels would be upside down if the earth were round.

Can the Mormon Tabernacle Choir fit into Trump Tower Manhattan?

Trump Will Appoint Julian Assange to His Cabinet

Mr. Assange will also join the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Trump and Putin Cook Smores on White House Lawn

Mr. Putin ate several then did twenty pushups.

Trump Knows Second Cause

He knows it follows the first.  But his real genius is knowing the first.  Vladimir Putin does not know the first but Trump will tell him on their first sleepover.

Trump Knows First Cause

He took a bite out of a Big Mac and the world was formed in one hour.

Mormon Tabernacle Choir Will Sing "Strange Fruit" at the Second Coming.

I don't have anything to ad except that AdSense people, some of my best friends, are fun to hang out with and always pick up the checks in restaurants.  They make so much friggin money at Google.  Is Google printing $100 dollar bills?  How about making counterfeiting part of Drive or Docs?

Just kidding.

Sweeping Conservative Agenda

The unregulated harvesting of you internal organs or just sweeping?  Sweeping would be a government make-work.  That wouldn't happen unless its was incarceration for being poor or just free work to ward off evil.

AdSense

The beginning of a Fake Fake News (c) Empire and adaptation of blogging for free-form tweeting.  A mixed media project.  No MacArther Grant needed. Illuminati amanuensis hangout.

President Trump Has Secret Information

He received the information in the wrapper of a hamburger sent by a courier.  I certainly hope he has a Big Mac taster or better yet, a Mac Donalds in the White House. (Fake News)