Dirty Water Act

It's a lot cheaper and easier to enforce.  You have to admit that.

Kelleyanne Conway -- Teenager Texting

But are her texts lies!

54 Billion Dollars Defense Increase

To bomb the NY Times and CNN.  Donald can keep the change.

Ivanka Trump's Perfume

Donald's armpit after an exhausting tweet session.

Trump at the White House

He is watching video of audiences cheering for him.  He is eating a hamburger.  He wishes Chris Christie could taste it for him to check for poisoning.

Trump Will be the Most Corrupt President in HIstory

That's why he spends all his time delegitimizing the media because they will bring the bad news. The blog is banned from white house secret conversations with Russian Oligarchs.

Trump Saves a Trillion Dollars

On military chewing gum.  How about the congressional cafeteria.  Aporia in Peoria.

Flip and Flap

Flop and Flup
Frop and Plop
Phlip and Frap

Who gives a Flip.

Adam Purinton -- Trump Enthusiast

Mentally ill
hateful
armed
making American Great Again
(Won't be getting the factory job any time soon unless Trump pardons him.  Too bad, there will be millions of non union jobs available soon)
aporia in Peoria

Everything That's Ever Been Said is a Lie Except ...

What President Trump says or tweets.  History is complete.  Christians have their Messiah.
We are living in the Rapture center in Mar a Lago for $200,000 membership.  Guess that leaves some of looking in.  Oh well.  As we like to say, aporia in Peoria.

Trump Saves a Billion Dollars in Peanut Grants

Obliviously a liberal do-good program.

DeVos Open Mouth

Please find a picture of her with her mouth closed.

Asunsophisticated

Aporia in Peoria.

Adviser Disagrees with Trump -- Gets Reassignment Surgery

Kind of extreme and expensive, but they need to work as a team.

Yianopoulous Will be Having Less Fun in the Coming Years

Maybe he can't get a job in the Trump administration writing jokes for the president.  We could luse some laughs.

Cardboard Saluters

have taken over America.  They are everywhere voting illegally.  There are billionaire cardboard saluters!

Trump Yells at Sweeden

The president was eating a hamburger (several) and began yelling at Sweden for cheating in golf,
not applauding loud enough at his rallies and giving a high bid  (IKEA) for furnishing the new Embassy/Trump Hotel in Jerusalem.  He wanted to yell longer but began choking on his food.  A big secret service agent managed to administer the Heimlich maneuver and dispel the burger wad which knocked Sean Spicer unconscious.

Cardboard Trump in Sweden

Saluting?  That's idolatry.  I hope you're not a Christian or shop at IKEA.  Maybe you have salad speech problems.  Sorry.

President Trump -- Unloved Human

Please send him cards and flowers.  Tell him he's great, a terrific guy before he harms himself, our country or some other innocent country.

Trump is NOT Suffering from Syphilis!

My sources (were not authorized so speak or grunt) say that the President does not suffer from syphilis, although the Russians have hours a video of the president in the hotels of Europe singing in the shower.

Made to Eat Meatloaf at a Black Site

Aren't there Nuremberg Laws to prevent this.

Steve Bannon's Liver Speaks Esperanto

I'm publishing this but I'm not sure Donald Trump is hearing Esperanto.  It must be a language within the former Soviet Union, though, or Putin speaking in tongues among Russian Pentecostals.

Bannon to Donate His Liver to Breibart

He's a nice guy.  Might have to skip cocktails once and a while.

Briebart to Fire Bill Belichick

We've had no contact with the Russians.  That Russia even exists if fake news.

Mentally Ill Congress

Votes to let mentally ill people buy guns.  Thanks.  Pray about it.

Trump is Strong!

He once armed wrestled one of his Russian Oligarch buddies and won easily!

Conway Discipline

She will have to wear clothes from Target for one year.

Terrorists -- You can find classified docuements blowing around the Mar a Lago Golf Course

I'm sure security crews are out picking up papers around the facility.  Maybe some undocumented aliens are working on it.  There are probably some Russian agents, the President's business partners, showing some interest. Why not just sell them?

Flynn Got His Boatload of Rubles and Left Town

He's going to build a giant woopycushion factory in Appalachia. Terrific jobs.

Russia Sends Super Models as Present for the President

This is all above board. I'm sure there is something that they can do to earn their keep.  Perhaps they are spies!

Bill Gates Promises a Golden Shower

in every bathroom.  A very trendy avocation.  Apparently, imported from Russia.  Side effects are believed to be gaslighting and salad speech, like a mad hatter.  Hope it isn't catching. Wash your hands before you tweet.

Death Panel

If you hear someone say death panel, you know that they are on the "death panel" wanting to take away insurance from millions of people.  You know who these people are.  Stop licking their shoes.

Ballistic Gel

Right wing soul.

A Giant Golden Cloud Over the White House

Naturally, golden showers.  The Trumps and their staff have all the pots and pans out collecting the liquid gold.  It's an asset. Nothing wrong with making some money.  Maybe a vacation in St. Petersburg!   (Don't stay at the same hotel)

Fake Golden Showers in St. Petersburg

Of course they are fake, but wet.  Golden, but fake.  Terrific, but fake.

Conway's Face is Melting!

Instead of getting a really long nose, K. Conway's face is falling apart.  Her jaw will soon dislocate like snakes eating large animals.  I think Franklin Graham should pray for her.

Ken Starr -- Christian Rape Apologist

Trump administration!  Couldn't land in a better place!
He's also get a curiosity about you know what!

Kellyanne Thoughts and Conway Prayers

Does she thrust her jaw out to gaslight the Lord?   Maybe she just does the "Now I lay me down to sleep.."  That's kind of a cute prayer.  Not as good as aporia in Peoria.

Trumps Goon Squad Going After Judges?

Did Bannon order this?  Grand Wizard of the White House.

Ivanka Trump White Nationalist Hoodies

Yes.  I heard they were in the works.  Look for Sean Spicer to start wearing them.

Trump Takes Conway to WH Woodshed

Yikes!  Do they have a woodshed?  I hope she wore body armor.

Kellyanne Conway Will Be Selling Non-Stick Frying Pans Soom

The pans will be for a dummy company of Trumps.  It will take years to establish the connection.  But if we can cut down on fat, might help keep costs down for TrumpCare a terrific program.

Trump Accuses Jesus of Faking Crucifiction

He likes Saviors who don't get crucified.  Saviors who play golf.

Trump Cuts Off Supporters Leg With Chain Saw!

Supporter thrilled.  Thanks Trump for the leg (thinking its a gift).  Tells Trump he's doing a great job.

Send the White House the Weekly Reader

They can keep up with events and not take away from TV time.  Great early morning reading.  Maybe a few National Geographics, older ones where they did not care about the environment so much.

Maybe one of the many billionaires can stop draining the swamp for a moment and write weekly reader check.  Subscribe for a class, maybe 25 copies.  Someone from the American Enterprise Institute can come over and help with the reading. A few maps might help as well.  A hamburger for the president if he pays attention!

White House is also called the Funny Farm

not really funny.

Funny thoughts amusing prayers.

Heidegger plays pee wee golf

aporia in peoria

Trump Calls Gorsuch a "Loser" -- may Rescind Nomination

Gorsuch wants to practice law in a bathrobe.  Kelleyanne Conway may be nominated for the Supreme Court.

Trump Attacks God Again (Wearing a Bathrobe!)

Trump was wearing a bathrobe when he attacked God.  Whether God (as victim) wore a bathrobe is unknowable as is the hour of retribution.  Trump may be outside the retributary world in which case, he is also God and in a bathrobe.  So he maybe talking to himself while he watches TV.  This is not helping Kelleyanne Conway keep her story straight.

The first follower of this blog will win an orange Naugahyde couch when I can find it.  I don't know about delivery. Not cheap.

Trump Attacks God

for being useless in human affairs.  The president will make things right.  He has the religious right behind him.  The combined efforts, thoughts and prayers will produce Klan sheets out of think air!

Blistering Thoughts Blistered Prayers

Cause and effect, no? Although one could think and another pray.  That would provide the disconnect.  Blistering is a metaphor, I believe.  So is blistered prayers.  So is prayers.  What is thinking then?  Vestigial?

Trump Claims T-Rexs Slaughtering People in Bible Belt

Millions are dead.  T-Rexs raised by terrorists in secret zoos.

Spicer Will Try Humor!

Got a joke I heard from a second grader.  What do you call a bear with no teeth?  A gummy bear!

This might draw attention away from your boss who keeps seeing things (on a large scale) that aren't there, like aliens!

Washington DC Destroyed by Terrorists

Liberal news media refuses to report on horrible destruction.  Dead lobbyists floating in the swamp!

Mike Pense Defends a Bear Shi$%#%$ in the Woods

The bear was a Putin lookalike.

Trump Loves Extra-Judicial Killings

They're terrific.  Why both with waterboarding.  The water can be used on golf courses.

So-Called Thought and So-Called Prayers

this can't end well, even in an alternative bad ending.

President Trump has Chronic Diaper Rash

This explains why he so grouchy.  Please find an ointment!

Trump Wears Giant Diapers

The President wears diapers when he tweets.  Sean Spicer changes them.  The plans are to involve more staff in tweet cleanup short of a scandal.

Everybody Loves Trump!

Ask him.

Trump Kissing Commie Thug Ass