Trump Buying Poison from Putin

 It's for gardening!

Trump Selling Classified Documents to Pay for Lawyers

 The documents are his to do whatever he wants with them including using them for toilet paper at Mara-Lego.

Rapture News

 Trump is in discussion with Jesus, God, and the Holy Ghost.  Trump does not want the Rapture to occur while he is alive.

George Soros Bribing Trump Jury this Weekend

 He's offered them more money than Trump.  There's a bidding war.  Trump is offering the jurors autographed Bibles and photos of him mounting Stormy Danials!!!   Judge Thomas wants a piece of the action.  It's a moral quandary.   What would you do?

Trump -- Just Say No

 

The great wisdom Nancy Reagon got from her Psychic.

When around strippers -- Just say no. Paying for their Silence -- just say no.  When you see an attractive woman -- say no to grabbing their crotch.   The list goes on forever.

Putin Will Carry Trump's Golf Clubs

and poison his enemies.  They're buds. Kissing cousins. 

Trump Media Loses 300 Million

 Just beg MAGA for more money.  We need a government department that bails Trump out of debt.  Very democratic and Capitalism 101.

Trump Craps in a Sand Trap (bear in woods)

 Hundreds of Republican hopefuls surround the trap taking home movies and announcing their loyal attendance.  It would make a nice video to show at Christmas after the presents have been opened and prayers have mentioned Trump, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Judge Alito Needs Cash from a Republican Billionaire

 That's the only pacification for Supreme Court Justices, ask Judge Thomas.  If Trump wins, he'll send wheelbarrows of cash to the conserevative justices.

Stand Your Ground in Texas -- Bang Bang

 I feel cranky today.  If I was in Texas, I go out and shoot someone.  Maybe I'll relocate in Texas. Good football and good shooting.

100 Hour Banker Work Week

 Getting all the money to the top ten percent and even more to the top one percentile takes work.  Somebody's got to do it.  I tried but it didn't work out.

RFK's Brain Worm

 Many Americans in power suffer from Brain Eating Worms.  The country is run by victims of BEW.

Maybe mandatory brain scans are in order for the rich and powerful.  If they fail, the fun will begin.

Please Help Giuliani Count His Money

 No one will help him and he's forgotten which mattress he's hidden it under.  Republican billionaires

step up and do the right thing.

Who Else did Kristi Noem Shoot?

 Shooting dogs will appeal to MAGA voters.  Not as much as shooting progressives. 

There's a lot of room in the Dakotas to bury bodies.  Do the police practice forensics there?

These are a few of the many questions that need to be asked.