Department of Education -- Gone!

 Department of Grifting in!  The government budget will go through Trump's bank account!

Trump to Subpoena Arnold Palmer's Penis

He wants to look for signs of the second coming.

Trump Loves Arnold Palmer's Dick

 What would Trump do in the locker room?  Read the Bible, of course.  He's the darling of the Evangelicals who also love Arnold Palmer's dick.  God sent Trump to worship AP's dick.  Good work, Evangelicals.

Trump Paying of Supreme Court Justices

 Look under their beds for suitcases full of cash.

Trump in Gaza Selling Classified Documents

The art of the deal. 

Oklahoma to Keep Trump Underwear as Relic

 

Oklahoma to spend millions on a shrine to house a pair of Trump's underwear.  It is believed that Trump prayed in the underwear and millions were healed.  (Trump made a nice profit from the prayer)  Its a win win!

Trump Wrote the Bible

 He has replaced Jesus and has fulfilled the promise of the Rapture. He is also a good writer.