Trump Will leave us with 100 trillion national debt

 Most of the money will go to his billionaire friends.  But that's what we voted for.

Vice President Musk to Become Trillionaire During Term

 I wish I could make that kind of money.  Pays one dollar in taxes!

Penny and Vance to Arm Wrestle at Army Navy Game

 The winner gets to belittle soldiers who have died in action and then have lunch with President Trump.

What Does Tulsi Gabbard Know About Assad's Drug Empire?

 What were her secret meetings about?  Just another day in Trump World.

Assad to Join Trump Administration

 They'll find something for him to do.

AI Denying Health Coverage Leading to Death

 Americans are in miserable health, many dying while healthcare executives are sailing around the world in their yachts.  Can AI help us out of the moral quandary?  (Who is programming the AI?)