Gabbard Working for Our Enemies

 She's giving out names and addresses of former spies.  Is she getting bags of cash?

Trump to Take Ozempic for his Ankles

 Maybe some belly fat.  Bad for the heart.  Cures COVID and Malaria as well.

Cracker Barrel: Put Trump's Image leaning on the Beautiful Golden Barrel

 or he will send the National Guard to your neighborhood, if you are in a Blue State.

Hang Trump's underclothes on the Wall to Deter Border Crossing

 Especially all the underwear he wore during his Epstein years.  Must be thousands.

Trump Sends Ghislaine Maxwell Girl Scout Cookies

 He's a good Christian and reads the Bible every day.  The Bible is read to him because he can't read.

God Does Not Allow Orange Makup in Heaven

 Trump gets on his jet and flies to hell to golf with his buddy, Satan.

Trump in Heaven

 He calls God a loser.

Trump Ended WW2

 He drove a golf cart to Berlin and shot Hitler.  But not before he had lengthy conversations about leading a country and winning a Nobel Prize.

Trump Makes GooGoo Eyes at Laura Loomer

 Wouldn't everyone!  Putin asked for her phone number.

Big Balls Will Get A Medal

 He will get a medal for bravery.  He marched his big balls around D.C.

Oil Painting of Epstein in White House

 Trump will commission a portrait of the great American and best friend, Epstein, for the White House.

The Ecconomy is What Trump Says it is

 If you don't like it, you can leave.

Trump Will Wrestle Grizzly Bears in Alaska

 He will kick their butts.  After seeing this display, Putin will sell Trump his nuclear arsenal.  Trump will use it to defend Mar-a-lago and his golf courses.

Ghislaine Maxwell Will Die in Texas Prison

 One hour of the security film will be missing.  Jack Ruby will shoot her.