Hegseth and Trump to show abs at Meeting with Military Brass

 The generals better applaud and shout approval.

Pray for Trump (and buy his Bitcoin)

 Demons are whispering in his ear -- 24-7.  He hasn't slept more than 4 hours since 1971.  All the satanic shit is pooling in his ankles.  Pray like you've never prayed and send money.

Rapture News (3)

 Leaves in gutters are a sign of the end of times.  Mar-a-Lago has gold coins in its gutters -- money they stole from dumb MAGA contributions.  But it's all speeding up the Rapture -- after 2000 years.  Maybe this weekend. No.   God will wait until Trump is back playing golf.

Nancy Mace: Pray for a Mormon Assassin and his Family

 Jesus would pray for a Mormon assassin but not a Trannie assassin?  What would Jesus do for a Trannie assassin?  What would a Christian do to a Trannie assassin?  Would Jesus have a panic attack?

Trump to Send Troops to Mar-a-Lago

 He's confused.  Someone tell him, please.

Supreme Court Allow Trump to Bomb American Cities

 Trump is old and dying.  He needs to be entertained.  It's the least we can do.

Rapture News (2)

 Please send money to Trump so he can get into heaven.  If that means living on the street, you must do it.  The Rapture can't begin until Trump declares that God told him he had an estate waiting for him in heaven.

If you do not send money, you will go to hell, loser.  If you don't have money, you are going to hell.  It's pay to play!  Trump will be grabbing pussy in heaven!!!

RFK's Head was in a Microwave for a Week

 The brain worm was finally killed.

Morticians Prepare Trump for Press Conference

 They did a good job and deserve some Trump bitcoin.

Giuliani to Receive Medal

For heroic use of shoe polish on his hair and for losing all the voter fraud cases.