An immigrant takes his lunch break in his car. He is a bright and funny guy, but he has an accent and he is conscious of it. It is thick in a few places. To remedy this he reads from a travel guide -- Nashville on so many dollars a day. He reads slowly and carefully in his pronounced accent. Unfortunately, this method does not self correct.
Learning in your parked care is fuel efficient, though, vital for our daunting energy transition.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Good Guys/Bad Guys
When I hear "good guys and bad guys," I think of "poo poo and pee pee." This is not to say that bad guys, such as terrorists, and a small child's understanding of bodily functions are equivalent. Clearly, terrorists are much more dangerous than pooping children.
What I hear, though, is an explanation meant for children or a society infantilized. "Bad guys" allows us to go after anybody in the wrong place (of our choosing) at the wrong time (we have guns ready.) It's almost fun!
What I hear, though, is an explanation meant for children or a society infantilized. "Bad guys" allows us to go after anybody in the wrong place (of our choosing) at the wrong time (we have guns ready.) It's almost fun!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Pundit Boner
The pundit says, "testicles" when he means "tentacles." The gist is that an investment firm extends their testicles/tentacles into some market that has got them in trouble.
Think of horror film with Ivy League hedge funders directing their tentacles through tract homes and trailer parks skewering and strangling unsuspecting people, some in the act of prayer to their fatherly leaders and free markets.
You can now substitute (at your own risk) testicles.
Would anyone shout, "it's the rapture?"
Think of horror film with Ivy League hedge funders directing their tentacles through tract homes and trailer parks skewering and strangling unsuspecting people, some in the act of prayer to their fatherly leaders and free markets.
You can now substitute (at your own risk) testicles.
Would anyone shout, "it's the rapture?"
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Job Opportunities (Not at Home Though)
We, too, have the unfortunate people who hire out for the day to shake a sign that points to a potential sale. Some Shakers are vigorous with their sign, others are obviously saving their arms (or dignity) for future considerations.
A small development with an ocean view is at the sign shaking stage. One week a sullen youth with pants (crotch) heavily under the influence of gravity, just stands counting the hours, indifferent to development. Was the developer desperate that day?
The following week a youth with a back pack stood (as if about to get on a train in Amsterdam) and rocked the sign with one hand. He’d tied the sign to his jacket as if he were rocking a baby to sleep. For good measure he was on his cell phone catching up with friends.
Several weeks later, a man in a polo hat used the sign as a juggling object. He spun the sign and tried to catch it. This may have been a gesture for the unstable real estate markets.
A small development with an ocean view is at the sign shaking stage. One week a sullen youth with pants (crotch) heavily under the influence of gravity, just stands counting the hours, indifferent to development. Was the developer desperate that day?
The following week a youth with a back pack stood (as if about to get on a train in Amsterdam) and rocked the sign with one hand. He’d tied the sign to his jacket as if he were rocking a baby to sleep. For good measure he was on his cell phone catching up with friends.
Several weeks later, a man in a polo hat used the sign as a juggling object. He spun the sign and tried to catch it. This may have been a gesture for the unstable real estate markets.
Twilight Zone Jingle
As I experience the atheist/believer arguments, I hear -- during the proofs for a supreme being -- the Twilight Zone Jingle, which may itself be an acceptable proof or as good as any other. It's a catchy tune, isn't it.
My Other Blog is Down for Service
My other blog is temporarily off line while I make some updates, which is another way of saying that I lost it. I have, though, saved all of the more developed ideas that I have not presented in full on this blog, as well as the links. I will continue to refer to my other blog with the expectation of a quick recovery.
Papanca -- Try This at Home!
Allow your senses, the objects of your senses and the resultant consciousness to run wild, to proliferate with concepts, destructive emotions, paranoia, even to the point of loosing track of the subject at hand. Then return to one sense object and start over again.
Sequence model: Frying food, mother, church and sweating supplicants, global warning, crush injury and an unresponsive HMO, seven billion people gasping for air on the north pole, over consumption of tic tacs, return to frying food.
See my other blog for more developed models and links to helpful texts.
Sequence model: Frying food, mother, church and sweating supplicants, global warning, crush injury and an unresponsive HMO, seven billion people gasping for air on the north pole, over consumption of tic tacs, return to frying food.
See my other blog for more developed models and links to helpful texts.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Greetings from Safeway
Safeway recently offered hot dogs for lunch. An unenthusiastic employee sold them from a card table. The proceeds were for prostate cancer research. The dodg represented the enlarge prostrate.
It's odd that this Safeway would make such a crude lunch offer. This store is in a part of the city where well-educated people live and work. A delivery man bought one, but who else did they think was going to buy one? I didn't.
Unlike my local-lumpen Safeway, the employees in this kupscale store have dispensed with the tiring and inappropriate greeting of customers. The kind best given to meeting long-lost friends. I must admit I like walking past the produce guy who tirelessly offers a "how ya doing" not matter how many repeat trips I make, often with his gaze steady on the onions.
It's odd that this Safeway would make such a crude lunch offer. This store is in a part of the city where well-educated people live and work. A delivery man bought one, but who else did they think was going to buy one? I didn't.
Unlike my local-lumpen Safeway, the employees in this kupscale store have dispensed with the tiring and inappropriate greeting of customers. The kind best given to meeting long-lost friends. I must admit I like walking past the produce guy who tirelessly offers a "how ya doing" not matter how many repeat trips I make, often with his gaze steady on the onions.
Readers--Take Back Our Libraries
Demand a ban on cellphone use. Take them at the door.
Limit computer use -- no games.
Make noisy students leave.
Ask clueless parents to control their toddlers.
An alternative plan would be to sell space in the library to Starbucks. The coffee area would have to have a separate entrance and have sound proof walls, but there would be access to computers, movies and magazines. This would allow the public to continue its undifferentiated and unmindful behaviors of constant talking, use their cellphones, Ipods and junk computer use, games, dating services, soft porn, etc. All of this can be done elsewhere.
The cafe would provide revenue for the library and allow readers and students -- those who will go to a university -- the quiet environment that is a library.
Limit computer use -- no games.
Make noisy students leave.
Ask clueless parents to control their toddlers.
An alternative plan would be to sell space in the library to Starbucks. The coffee area would have to have a separate entrance and have sound proof walls, but there would be access to computers, movies and magazines. This would allow the public to continue its undifferentiated and unmindful behaviors of constant talking, use their cellphones, Ipods and junk computer use, games, dating services, soft porn, etc. All of this can be done elsewhere.
The cafe would provide revenue for the library and allow readers and students -- those who will go to a university -- the quiet environment that is a library.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Old Cliches
I love "old cliches." I use them all the time, don't you? While I love old cliches, I'm most excited aboaut new cliches, the newer the better. I live in a perpetual state of anticipation and excitement over the approach and arrival of a new cliche. How can you tell what is a new cliche? It has the same intended content as an old cliche, but the words are different.
See my other blog for examples.
See my other blog for examples.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
New Shorts
The painter walked into the paint store with many hellos and a request for new pants. His night of drinking had not finished and he'd wet his painter's whites. He didn't draw attention to the wet spot nor did he try to hide it with a color chart or job notebook.
When they didn't have his size, he settled for shorts, a size too big. A few minutes later he returned from the bathroom in his new shorts tightly bound by his belt. He bought two expensive ox hair brushes and forswore coffee. His legs were thinner and whitier than one might imagine.
When they didn't have his size, he settled for shorts, a size too big. A few minutes later he returned from the bathroom in his new shorts tightly bound by his belt. He bought two expensive ox hair brushes and forswore coffee. His legs were thinner and whitier than one might imagine.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Critical Thinking
A fifth-grade boy wanders across the school parking lot with a giant pastry in one hand and a bottle of chocolate milk in the other.
"You don't have a donut do you?" he says and for goodmeasure he adds, "I don't think so."
He has two minutes to eat this pastry and drink the milk.
"You don't have a donut do you?" he says and for goodmeasure he adds, "I don't think so."
He has two minutes to eat this pastry and drink the milk.
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