The Truth about Bin Laden's Death

Bin Laden had a PBX workout tape on the TV. He was working out in front of several of his wives. the SEALs entered the room and shot him.

Vegetarianism 2500 (Cannibalism is also an Option)

Is there enough land to feed animals and humans or should we transition to cannibalism. The bow-tied ethicists begin the discussion --fava beans and a crisp Chardonnay for lunch.

Keep in mind that you still have to feed humans until they are ready for meat conversion. Will the vegetarians want exemption from slaughter lotteries -- always complaining!

Romney's Dog

Unless the dog has bank accounts in the Cayman Islands or an IRA Trust of over fifty million dollars, leave the dog alone!

Julian Assange and Joe the Plumber to Debate!

Mr. Assange will address document leaks. Mr. Plumber will address plumbing leaks. The two have assured the promoters that they will be able to align their arguments during the course of the debate.

The debate site has not been determined. Mr. Plumber refuses any venue south of Texas. Mr. Assange is not free to travel in any of the countries he has embarrassed.

Joe The Plumber Terrorizes Mexico

The following is a movie treatment for Joe the Plumber and his conquest south of the border. Joe Goes South is the working title.

A mobile structure (a replica of the Alimo) is in place at the border. There is the southwestern landscape with buttes and cactus. Joe is atop the Alimo with a big machine gun. He begins gunning down illegals aka Mexican citizens.

The Alimo moves forward and wiping out huge swaths of the population. The drug cartels put up a fight, but with the help of drones (funded by the Coke brothers) Joe prevails.

The Coke brothers fly into the Alimo helipad for strategy sessions in conference rooms with plumbing by Joe. They are often accompanied by other conservative luminaries. They decide to run the continent.

Joe fights on through Central America and the Amazon jungle, which is reduced to crude compost. The sky is black with drones putting an end to any resistance.

The Coke brothers claim all timber, mineral and energy rights in the war zones. They also claim rights to the Olympics now that Brazil is a belligerent and ruined country. The Coke Brothers build a massive Olympic/Military complex on the Texas/Mexico border.

In the final scene, Joe is at the bedside of the last aboriginal princess. She asks him why he did it. Joe says something like, "Justice can be cruel or truth is a tough mistress." He has a tear in his eye. He wipes his face with a Brawny paper towel.

Baby Bumps

Celebrities have baby bumps, everyone else is pregnant.

Medicare Freedom of Choice!

There is nothing like freedom of choice when one doesn't have enough money to pay for the choice. You can always window shop while family pushes your gurney along.

Rep Ryan Shoots Better Angel

Several years ago Rep. Ryan shot an Angel while hunting. This blog has learned of the shooting and that the Democrats will use this later in the campaign against Rep Ryan. They will make the connection between shooting an Angel and shooting your pet!

As someone who believes that hunting is a legitimate use for the vast American private arsenal, I do not think it is fair to besmirch conservatives for shooting animals or Angels on their vacations.

Downgrading Better Angels of America

As much as I hate to do it, I must downgrade American Angels. I know the President and Vice President and those running for office all get down on their knees at night and pray -- at least on the weekend. They are, though, praying to average angels and at time shoddy angels.


Many of these angels do not have numbered bank accounts in foreign countries or tax lawyers. They are smelly with bad haircuts and ridiculous wings from Target or WalMart that fail in warm weather. These angels depend on the pictures when ordering food in McDonald's. They throw the packaging on the street. Underage Angels stand outside liquor stores and ask people to buy alcohol for them. Many of the angels are comatose and cling to surfaces like mold and rust.

The so called "Better Angels" do enjoy getting together in the Caribbean to protected Mitt Romney's bank accounts. The fly over the banks like drones looking for terrorist gatherings.

The bettter Angels hang around the rich filching foot from the buffet line.

"Better Angels of America" (With Accounts in the Cayman Islands)

How about ordinary American Angels?
Are our Angels better than other country's Angels?
Can or do Angels fight proxy wars for us?
Can we turn over our military adventures over to Angels?
Does Haliburton have an Angel division?
Can Mormon Angeles and Catholic Angels get along?

I saw a number of very impressive Angels in the Nevada State Museum. They, however, did not pay for admission. They sat together near the gift shop on an orange Naugahyde couch. I don't for the life of me know why they were there. Maybe they lived in the mineshafts nearby.

High School Yearbooks (Psycho Killers)

Look in your yearbook or your child's. It's reasonable to assume that one or more of the faces on the pages are disturbed males with the potential to shoot many people domestically or in one of our military adventures in the Middle East (or both). Many of the faces have vast arsenals of assault weaponry in the ready for an imaginary event -- an invasion across a border or from outer space or an uprising over something like raising the tax rate for the 1% or universal health care. These psychos will not even be able to correctly identify the people they kill.

Nevada State Museum

The museum has much to recommend, but the walls -- heavy skip-trowel -- are awful, like an unsold tract house. I had nightmares about applying mud to smooth the museum walls. The only remedy was to go to Virginia City and live in a saloon for a week.