Shame! The Left Has Won (3)

The radio host fills his golf bag with Oxycontin and threatens to swallow them all by dumping them directly down his throat.  His maid pulls the bag away.  The host thanks her and sticks more pins in the doll.

Shame! The Left has Won (2)

A talk show host sits drooling on his couch sticking pins in a Sasha doll.  He reaches for another pill but only spills the bottle on the floor.  He calls for his maid.  She has the night off.  He curses the left.

Shame! The Left Has Won!

Oxycontin is now illegal, except while playing golf.

Deadly Shooting Spree (Generic or NRA Approved)

Wayne LaPierre stands in front of his map of the US.  He inserts pushpins at the location of the latest gun violence.  He knows that the guns are not the problem, people -- evil people -- are the problem. After several hours of pin work, Mr. LaPierre takes one of his assault weapons down from the rack and begins to break it down, oil it.  He sips a Bud Lite.  He thanks the Lord for the good work he has been called to do.

The Association has lobbied Mr. LaPierre to use a more up-to-date means of recording gun violence, but Mr. LaPierre is old school.  Guns are used with human hands, to the recording will be manual as well.  Mr. La Pierre has agreed to have an assistant on days when there is significant slaughter.  Several students from a local Bible College have been put on retainer.  They carry concealed weapons to help protect Mr. LaPierre from his legions of armed adversaries.

Wayne Lapierre's kind of Cattle Drive

103 killed in Sudaneese cattle drive.  If only Wayne was there just blasting away. More deaths or fewer deaths or dead cows, goats, chickens or armed security guards or even  Ann Coulter lip-syncing...how is this not a good thing, a ethical example of cattle drives?!