Wayne LaPierre stands in front of his map of the US. He inserts pushpins at the location of the latest gun violence. He knows that the guns are not the problem, people -- evil people -- are the problem. After several hours of pin work, Mr. LaPierre takes one of his assault weapons down from the rack and begins to break it down, oil it. He sips a Bud Lite. He thanks the Lord for the good work he has been called to do.
The Association has lobbied Mr. LaPierre to use a more up-to-date means of recording gun violence, but Mr. LaPierre is old school. Guns are used with human hands, to the recording will be manual as well. Mr. La Pierre has agreed to have an assistant on days when there is significant slaughter. Several students from a local Bible College have been put on retainer. They carry concealed weapons to help protect Mr. LaPierre from his legions of armed adversaries.
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