Redacting Trump's Name and Images

 Hundreds of thousands of hours have gone into the redaction, and only a small percentage have been redacted.  It may takes years.

Ghislaine Maxwell on Dancing with the Stars

 Steve Bannon will be her partner. Of course, there are a lot of MAGA candidates. 

The Devil did Karoline Leavitt's Lips

 He liked the way she lies with her new Mar-a-lago lips.

Trump to Bomb Ten Syrian Fishermen

 The fishermen are rowing across the Atlantic to deliver fentanyl to Eastern Seaboard ports.

Kristi Noem will Soon Be Working at a Mall

 grooming dogs.  You'd leave your poooch with her.  She has such a nice new face.

Or she could be cellmates with Ms. Maxwell.

Karoline Leavitt is Going to Hell With Trump

 for lying.  Lying is a sin.  

Trump to Bomb Indiana

 Put your boats out on the street to give the military targets.  This maneuver may save your house.

I'm Huuuuuge!

 Trump has the biggest d... in the U.S.  All MAGA men have big d.....   

American Football to be Renamed "Trumpball"

 We applaud this idea.

Hegseth to Post Top Secret Documents on Facebook

 He's going to call them recipes for Mac and Cheese to fool foreign intelligence agencies.  Maybe he'll make some money.

Sleepy (and smelly) Donald

 Is this name fair?

Make America Great Again -- Double Tap

 Get those fishermen everywhere they dare to use boats, including bass fishermen.

The Devil is Dripping Out of Trump's Ears

 That's the smell and the tanning makeup!

The Devil Throws Trump Out of Hell

 Trump will live in a homeless encampment.  MAGA should start bringing hamburgers to the encampments.  Trump will be the guy who smells of cologne and talks loudly. 

Trump to Bomb Washington DC

 Aircraft carriers are on the way.  The tunnel system under DC is crawling with FBI Agents.

Trump to Turn White House into Big Box Store

 TrumpMart.  All trump products!  All made in China!

Three More Years of Dementia

 Thanks MAGA.

Republican Health Care Plan

 Patients die in the parking lot.  They will be charged for parking, charged for towing, and processing of the dead patient.  There will also be a fee to let the soul go to heaven, unless they are wealthy.

MAGA Death Threats -- Making America Great Again

 Do you have a MAGA enthusiast in your neighborhood oiling his assault rifle, just itching to make America Great Again?

Bake them some cookies.  Recite some scripture.  Give them names of someone who isn't great.

Two Thousand Dollars in Trump Bit Coin

 Don't spend it all on a Big Mac.

Two Thousand Dollar Tarriff Gift

 You can buy a bandaid at your local hospital, but you have to put it on in the parking lot.  Sorry,

people will be dying there.  But a new bandaid is something!  Republican health care.

Laura Loomer in Your Neighborhood Soon

Franchises will be available.

"Evil Beyond Belief" (Epstein)

 Takes one to know one, said the devil while putting on his makeup.

Trump to Bomb Bass Fisherman on Lake Okeechobee

 Lay low until his attention shifts somewhere else.

Trump to Sue Fish and Chips

 Puzzling.  The fish is greasy and battered.  The chips are also greasy and unhealthy.  What's there to take offense?

Rapture News (4)

 When Musk becomes a trillionaire, the antichrist will arrive at Mar-a-Lago.  A big parade will follow with floats and bands.   This will give the righteous a chance to get their ammo ready.  

Trump will introduce the antichrist and announce joint business ventures.  Don't be fooled!

Trump to Test Nuclear Weapons at Mar-a-Lago

 Some will be tested in the bathroom with all the boxes of top-secret files Trump is selling to foreign agents.  In fairness, he's also selling them bitcoin and Argentinian beef.

Trump's aides are excited but realize that there could be property damage.

Testing Nuclear Weapons in Blue States

 We need to know if they kill people and destroy property.  Please, mind the golf courses. and ballrooms.

Trump Asks Supreme Court for Emergency Back Rub

 He wants to play golf this weekend.  This might not go well.

Trump to Bomb Ice Cream Trucks in Blue States

 Keep your kids away.  Don't let them take any money from Cash Patel.

Karoline Leavitt -- a Lying Christian

 Jesus didn't die for you to lie.

Homeland Security to Buy Two New Facelifts for Kristi Noem

Fifty Million Dollars!  She does look like a pouty cheerleader.

She will donate her old face to a charity that gives its donations to Donald J Trump.

Trump Wants to Bomb "No Kings Rallies"

 He believes they are fronts for drug cartels passing around bundles of narcotics.  He wants a 50 percent cut of all profits to help him get into heaven.  If not heaven, then he demands a replica of Mar-A-Lago in hell.  He wants thousands of boxes with classified government files in a giant bathroom.

If this demand is not met, he will settle for a giant McDonald's with a gold-leaf interior. 

If his demands are not met, he will begin bombing cities run by democrats.

Egypt Concerned about Trump's Tanning (shoe polish) products contaminating the Nile

 And much of Africa.  The military will try to contain the runoff from Trump's residence.

Trump at Walter Reed

 To have his excess shoe polish (tanning grease) drained from his system.  Send your prayers and that other thing.  It's cognitive.  Prayers and cognition.

Insult Room at White House -- Plug Your Ears!

 Pam Bondi displayed her packaged insults at the congressional hearing.  The White House has a one-hundred-million-dollar budget for insults.  Many insulters work off-site, cranking out material like "loser" "lowlife" "scumbag" among the many witty and cutting insults.  This is one of the accomplishments of the Trump administration.  A cabinet-level position is needed.

Trump to Fly to Middle East

 His hair products and tanning paint will be running in the gutters, befouling the streets, sending thousands to the hospital for poisoning, against the Geneva Convention.  Too bad the Israelis couldn't have used it to flush Hamas out of the tunnels.

Trump in Hell

 He will be in charge of firing people.

Hegseth and Trump to show abs at Meeting with Military Brass

 The generals better applaud and shout approval.

Pray for Trump (and buy his Bitcoin)

 Demons are whispering in his ear -- 24-7.  He hasn't slept more than 4 hours since 1971.  All the satanic shit is pooling in his ankles.  Pray like you've never prayed and send money.

Rapture News (3)

 Leaves in gutters are a sign of the end of times.  Mar-a-Lago has gold coins in its gutters -- money they stole from dumb MAGA contributions.  But it's all speeding up the Rapture -- after 2000 years.  Maybe this weekend. No.   God will wait until Trump is back playing golf.

Nancy Mace: Pray for a Mormon Assassin and his Family

 Jesus would pray for a Mormon assassin but not a Trannie assassin?  What would Jesus do for a Trannie assassin?  What would a Christian do to a Trannie assassin?  Would Jesus have a panic attack?

Trump to Send Troops to Mar-a-Lago

 He's confused.  Someone tell him, please.

Supreme Court Allow Trump to Bomb American Cities

 Trump is old and dying.  He needs to be entertained.  It's the least we can do.

Rapture News (2)

 Please send money to Trump so he can get into heaven.  If that means living on the street, you must do it.  The Rapture can't begin until Trump declares that God told him he had an estate waiting for him in heaven.

If you do not send money, you will go to hell, loser.  If you don't have money, you are going to hell.  It's pay to play!  Trump will be grabbing pussy in heaven!!!

RFK's Head was in a Microwave for a Week

 The brain worm was finally killed.

Morticians Prepare Trump for Press Conference

 They did a good job and deserve some Trump bitcoin.

Giuliani to Receive Medal

For heroic use of shoe polish on his hair and for losing all the voter fraud cases. 

Gabbard Working for Our Enemies

 She's giving out names and addresses of former spies.  Is she getting bags of cash?

Trump to Take Ozempic for his Ankles

 Maybe some belly fat.  Bad for the heart.  Cures COVID and Malaria as well.

Cracker Barrel: Put Trump's Image leaning on the Beautiful Golden Barrel

 or he will send the National Guard to your neighborhood, if you are in a Blue State.

Hang Trump's underclothes on the Wall to Deter Border Crossing

 Especially all the underwear he wore during his Epstein years.  Must be thousands.

Trump Sends Ghislaine Maxwell Girl Scout Cookies

 He's a good Christian and reads the Bible every day.  The Bible is read to him because he can't read.

God Does Not Allow Orange Makup in Heaven

 Trump gets on his jet and flies to hell to golf with his buddy, Satan.

Trump in Heaven

 He calls God a loser.

Trump Ended WW2

 He drove a golf cart to Berlin and shot Hitler.  But not before he had lengthy conversations about leading a country and winning a Nobel Prize.

Trump Makes GooGoo Eyes at Laura Loomer

 Wouldn't everyone!  Putin asked for her phone number.

Big Balls Will Get A Medal

 He will get a medal for bravery.  He marched his big balls around D.C.

Oil Painting of Epstein in White House

 Trump will commission a portrait of the great American and best friend, Epstein, for the White House.

The Ecconomy is What Trump Says it is

 If you don't like it, you can leave.

Trump Will Wrestle Grizzly Bears in Alaska

 He will kick their butts.  After seeing this display, Putin will sell Trump his nuclear arsenal.  Trump will use it to defend Mar-a-lago and his golf courses.

Ghislaine Maxwell Will Die in Texas Prison

 One hour of the security film will be missing.  Jack Ruby will shoot her.

Epstein and Trump Drank Sprite Together

 They burped with the teenagers.

Trump Golfs While Elite Dick's Squirm

 They do so much for society; they deserve underage girls on an island.  Forget your morals.  Embrace your hallucinations about the ethics of those fronting for the deep state.  Hint:  the guy with orange shoe polish on his face.

DOJ to Bribe Maxwell to Absolve Trump

 She will get a position in the White House as advisor on teenage affairs.

Trump to Bring Back the N-word

 MAGA is ecstatic!  Trump will try it out in the next State of the Union address.

Trump Wants to Bomb Indian Reservations

 After the Washington football team changes its name back to Redskins.

Trump to Send Musk to Russian Gulag

 Musk will share a cell with Rosie O'Donnell.  

Trump Diagnosed with Venus Fly Trap

 When you get old, flies exit the body.  The Pat's bog office building is swarming with flies.  It can't be helped.  Pray that they are not hatching in the brain.

Epstein Alive at Mar-A-Lago

 He is in the basement being whipped by a MAGA dominatrix.  It hurts.  It's not fun.  He's bleeding!

Trump to Have a replica of Arnold Palmer's big D..k in the Sculpture Garden

 I hope there is enough room.  If they direct it in the right direction, there should be enough room on the White House grounds so they won't have to adjust the scale.

My neighbor is a communist

 He mowed his lawn. I could tell.

Thousands of Evangelicals drop Dead and will miss the Rapture

 Trump said the word "f..k" (We are too ashamed to print it in full).

Mississippi executes 79 year old man

 Mississippi, thanks for your patience and service.  The world is in a better place now.

Bunker busters -- Don't make them like they used to.

 Why not send thousands of armed MAGA militias to the sites in Iran?  They can take their millions of assault rifles and just shoot the shit out of the nuclear facility buried in the mountain.  Eeeeehawwww!

Trump to Build McDonalds on Rose Garden Site

 Any President bombing another country deserves hamburgers on demand.

Operation Midnight Hamburger -- a resounding Success!

 Trump at 3 cheesburgers,

Trump Eats a Hamburger While We Bomb Iran

 He also had fries and a Diet Coke while Rome burned.  Trump burped and thought about the reporter who asked a mean question at his press conference.  That's not fair.  The reporter should thrown out of a window like Putin does to his opposition. 

Vance Boelter Victim of Communist Brain Washing

 Vance was abducted by a Communist UFO and returned, brainwashed, and supplied with weapons.  This could happen to you.  Fill your pockets with fish bait.  Communists hate the smell.  Pray with a dead fish near your bible. 

Could Congress Flush One Toilet

Yes.  It would take some negotiating and staff meetings,  but when the smell got too bad, a take-charge congressman or woman would flush it.  Conspiracies would follow quickly.  It was a communist shit.

Trump Taking Council from French Speaking Chimp

 They play golf.  The chimp is disquised as a preacher.

Trump Hearing Voices

 Is he armed? Does he have a list?  Most of the voices are his but it can't be good.

Trump to Pardon Vance Boelter

 Vance's treatment will be unfair.  He's really a nice guy. 

Ten Million People Watched Trump's Army Parade

 It was a thrilling spectacle.  Stalin is rolling over in his ...  is he buried or embalmed and stored at Mar-a-Lago?

Trump to Bomb Tesla Plants

 He will send DOGE thugs to beat up escaping employees.

Guatemalan Man Returned For Store Credit

One of his kidneys was harvested and sold.  The money was diverted to the Trump family.

Botox is leaking into Krsity Noem's Brain

 Pray for her.  Send money for a drain.

Trump Administration Trafficking Children

 They take immigrant children out of their homes and only God knows what they do with them.  It must be good because they are mostly Christian.  I hope they are not eating them.  

America First or Trump's Net Worth

They work together.  See the great benefits of buying Trump bit coins or a degree from Trump University.

Trump to Pardon Serial Killers

 They will attend Harvard and kill students with assault rifles.  Go MAGA!!!

Trump to Bomb Harvard

 His team of lawyers have told him it's constitutional.  Soon he will bomb elementary schools in Blue states.

He's tough.  Don't mess with him, especially when's he's eating a Big Mac.

Trump -- Friend of White Collar Crime!

 Get your fraud schemes going!  How bout a revival or Trump University!

Trump Will Sue Putin

 Trump is an outstanding suer.  Putin will settle or go into hiding.

Genocide at Mar-a-Lago

 When a dishwasher sprained an ankle, the beginning of a genocide began in Florida.

Millions of communists from the NY area are driving Teslas and will arrive with hiking poles to begin the genocide.  White South Africans, oppressed for centuries by black Africans, will be slaughtered on golf courses.

The rest is to awful to tell.

Trump Will Hide the Airplane at Mar-a-Lago

 He will hide it with all the classified documents he's selling.

Trump to Retire as Pope

 He is a terriffic Christian.  He is qualified.  He can do both jobs because he is a genious.

Kristi Noem's Cash?

What's she buying?  What's she selling? 

Did JD Vance kill the Pope?

 This conspiracy theory making the rounds should be squashed immediately.

Corrupt Judges Alito and Thomas side with Trump on Everything

Must be a suitcase full of cash every week.  Maybe bitcoin.  Thomas likes trailers with gold toilet seats.

Gold Leaf Toilet Paper in the White House

 They deserve it.  Tarriffs will waved for the imported paper.

New Fed Chair -- Hulk Hogan

 Tarriffmania!  He's qualified. 

Trump's Stomach weighs 224 pounds

 The doctor should lose his license.  Maybe it was a DOGE goon giving the physical.

Russel Brand's Conversion (another slimeball hiding behind religion)

 Are the evangelicals praying for Brand and Tate or are they not quite a moral giant like Trump, overflowing with compassion and forgiveness, like the devil? 

Trump Golfs While You are evicted

 Some day you will get your house back.

Trump to Bomb Town Hall Meetings

 So shout and run. Make American Great Again.

Oklahoma Indicts a Preacher from Texas?

 Trump has already ordered a pardon.  Need more MAGA sex offenders -- especially children.

Andrew Tate to Become Trump Advisor

 He is qualified and a Christian.  Why not?

Economic "Transition"

 Billionaires get paid.  Everyone else eats shit.  But its MAGA shit so it tastes like a big Mac!

Tariffs Cure Cancer

 They also work on athlete's foot, the foot that kept Trump out of the Vietnam war.

Anti-Christ: Tech Billionaires grooming Anti-Christ

 They are in league with billionaires around the world developing technology to enslave us.

Firing Squads Back

 There will be daily shootings on the White House lawn to amuse Musk.

Trump to Begin Poisoning Enemies

 Putin gave him a vial of poison.  Works great!

Trump to Hire the Tate Brothers

 They will be advisors.

Trump to Pardon Charles Manson

 Manson was treated unfairly.

Trump to Bomb the Grand Canyon

 Musk told him to.

Trump Administration to Fight Measles with Big Mac's.

 Trump hasn't had measles recently therefore it must work.

Gold Card for Foreigners

Also gives the right to shoot up box stores, fast food businesses, schools, etc.  It is a cultural exchange.

Supreme Court Rules that Trump is God

 If you consider his behavior, it makes sense.  He loves himself more than the former God loved the world.

Trump Will Create Trillionaires from the Tax Cuts!!!

 They will give everyone a free MAGA hat!  That's worth it!

Musk and Condoms

 Maybe he should learn how to use them.

Trump Wants to Ruin the Economy

 Just because he can.  You are fired!

Jesus Will Sell Resurrection Bit-Coin

 He learned this from his mentor, Donald Trump.  Yes, this is a what would Jesus do conclusion.

resurrection 

United States of Grift

 If you are not getting some, you're fired.

God Told Me

 to go to 7/11 and buy a hot dog.  It was good.

Trump Fires Conductor of New York Philharmonic

 Trump will conduct the orchestra.  They will play the YMCA song at all concerts -- the two-hour version with pauses for the conductor to improvise.  

Jesus Loves Bit-Coin

He rose from the grave for Bit-Coin. 

Relocate Gazans at Mar-a-Lago

 Trump can use his takings from the Tariffs to pay for their room and board.

Fishing With Hitler

 A favorite MAGA fantasy.  Did he eat fish?  Maybe catch and release.

Slavery --- DEI Was the Cause!

 Think about it.  If it wasn't for DEI, all white families would be in the billionaire class and live in golden trailers like Judge Thomas!

RFK Jr. to Bring Back Polio

 Trump will blame it on DEI because of his six-figure IQ.  

Hegseth to Restore Slavery

 He will live and drink in the master's house and have "fun" in the evening.  By fun, I mean trips to 

Mar-a-Lago when Trump sells classified documents to foreign agents.  MAGA and pass the diet coke.

Trump asks Supreme Court to Wash his Underwear

They agree.  Judge Thomas has taken the most bribes so he agrees to take it to a laundromat.  He wants one million dollars in quarters.