Trump Buying Poison from Putin

 It's for gardening!

Trump Selling Classified Documents to Pay for Lawyers

 The documents are his to do whatever he wants with them including using them for toilet paper at Mara-Lego.

Rapture News

 Trump is in discussion with Jesus, God, and the Holy Ghost.  Trump does not want the Rapture to occur while he is alive.

George Soros Bribing Trump Jury this Weekend

 He's offered them more money than Trump.  There's a bidding war.  Trump is offering the jurors autographed Bibles and photos of him mounting Stormy Danials!!!   Judge Thomas wants a piece of the action.  It's a moral quandary.   What would you do?

Trump -- Just Say No

 

The great wisdom Nancy Reagon got from her Psychic.

When around strippers -- Just say no. Paying for their Silence -- just say no.  When you see an attractive woman -- say no to grabbing their crotch.   The list goes on forever.

Putin Will Carry Trump's Golf Clubs

and poison his enemies.  They're buds. Kissing cousins. 

Trump Media Loses 300 Million

 Just beg MAGA for more money.  We need a government department that bails Trump out of debt.  Very democratic and Capitalism 101.