Gabbard Working for Our Enemies

 She's giving out names and addresses of former spies.  Is she getting bags of cash?

Trump to Take Ozempic for his Ankles

 Maybe some belly fat.  Bad for the heart.  Cures COVID and Malaria as well.

Cracker Barrel: Put Trump's Image leaning on the Beautiful Golden Barrel

 or he will send the National Guard to your neighborhood, if you are in a Blue State.

Hang Trump's underclothes on the Wall to Deter Border Crossing

 Especially all the underwear he wore during his Epstein years.  Must be thousands.

Trump Sends Ghislaine Maxwell Girl Scout Cookies

 He's a good Christian and reads the Bible every day.  The Bible is read to him because he can't read.

God Does Not Allow Orange Makup in Heaven

 Trump gets on his jet and flies to hell to golf with his buddy, Satan.

Trump in Heaven

 He calls God a loser.