Celebrity Compactor

There are too many celebrities. I have in mind the development of a compactor, like garbage compactors, that will merge, by force, celebrities. This merging should be done with some thought, although the compacting/merging criteria needs some input from medical ethicists.

(Imagine compacting two medical ethicists. What tie would prevail--bow or conventional or possibly a string tie like Colonel Sanders)

My first compaction would be Lindsay Lohan and Kate Gosselin. I admit, I haven't given much thought to the new celebrity as an outcome of such a compaction. I just think it is important that compaction get underway. It is in a sense, a second or third front of environmentalism and energy conservation.

Yes, I do believe that the world is overpopulated and that there is a human redundancy, most glaring in the category of the celebrity. But we could move on to politicians, billionaires, slum dwellers, etc. Compacting would not involve abortion or the distribution of condoms -- the bugaboos of conservatives.

Imagine Jimmy Swaggart and Oral Roberts compacted. Or to be fair, our President and Vice President.