Unfortunately, I had to spend more time than anyone would want to in Home Depot restroom. I stayed longer because of a beautiful heartfelt voice, a woman's voice, singing to me. I thought she was in the next stall -- as improbable as that might sound. Then I thought she had taken over the public address system and was going to meet me at check out in a gown, backless and sheer.
There was no such singer at Home Depot, she'd moved on to Lowes. She lured me on through Garden, lumber, hardware, etc. She all but followed me home and sang again on call waiting as I was trying to order something from Office Depot. I gave her my phone number and told her to call me. We agreed to meet at the local 24 Hour Fitness, actually twelve hours.
She was singing there too. She was singing to a row of old fat guys in work clothes on Exercycles. We -- to the man -- looked moon struck and delusional.
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