Mormon Tabernacle Choir Sings for Trump

They've found an Anglican song about "crotch grabbing."  It's lovely and with all the voices gives an electoral weight to the slight of hand.  (Fake News from Russian Source)

Evil Empire Takes Office in Trump Tower

That Putin is sharp as a tack.

Trump: Putin's Lap Dog

More like a pitbull on a chain guarding a meth lab.  I hope Vladdy likes Big Mac's!

Rev. Jerry Falwell meets with Steven Seagall

They've been in secret meetings to invest in Trump Hotels/Psychiatric Hospitals stretching from Eastern Europe to Syria.  Some golf course are planned.  (Fake News)

Trump Nukes East Jerusallem

While eating a hamburger, President Trump ordered the nuking of East Jerusalem to remove any threat against Israel.  (Fake News.  He really at a taco salad and watching Survivor.  "Look at the fat $%#@&%")

Shopping Riots! Rev. Jerry Falwell

Another sign of the Orange messiah's return as prayed for by Dr. Falwell.

Jerry Falwell Jr. and Shopper Theology!

With the Orange-haired second coming on the calendar, Pastor Falwell has observed shoppers everywhere doing God's work, buying stuff!  Dr. Falwell's vision suggests ideas to be addressed by the curriculum of Liberty University.

A study of earthly and heavenly shopping.  Better deals in heaven?


Is Walmart high end enough for heaven?

Is there high end in heaven?

Is there a need to shop in heaven? Buying luxury items that have no purpose or multiples like many smart phones.

Is Amazon Prime a better model for heaven.  The elect will spend a lot of time at the buffet and not gain weight.  They can get their stuff sent to them by Prime and not miss an entree.

Bullying.  How would Jesus bully?

If someone is a loser in earthly life (the meek) will they be a loser in heaven?

Bullying and turning the other cheek?  Aporia or just Wimpcity?

Can Losers make it through the Pearly Gates?  Is there conversion therapy for them?

A nonpracticing homosexual can enter heaven.  Will Christian rednecks be allowed to beat them up even if the beating doesn't hurt?  It's the thought that counts.

Will the act of holding a credit card replace the Eucharist?  Is that too Catholic?  What's real shopping anyway?  A perenial if I've ever seen one.

How would Jesus advise on groping women's crotches?  Will there be a certain number of virgins for each groper?  Will the virgin's feelings be considered, if there are feelings in heaven.

This is meant to get the discussion going now that the 2000 year wait is over as Dr. Falwell is shrewdly noted, by subtle indirection of course.

Steven Seagal and Donald Trump

They both have mad cow disease and will be treated in Russia in the coming months.  Trump will sell Camp David to Putin or trade it for a Dacha.

Trump Has Mad Cow Disease!

Too many big mac's.  Not fake news.

Send President Letters of Praise so He Feels Good About Himself

That way he won't start WW3 think its a wrestling match.  He's not very well informed.  Don't tell him that.

Xmas Card from Putin

I got one to.  He's a nice Christian like President Trump.

Rex Tillerson Donates Exxon Shares to the Poor

Fake News!

Donald Trump Tries to Read the Bill of Rights

but falls asleep.  When he wakes up, he finishes his hamburger.

Call Girls -- Trump's Cabinet Needs Call Girls

Billionaire call girls to run departments like agriculture, housing etc.  We need some diversity.  Not just old white guy billionaires.

Disbanding Thoughts and Rebranding Prayers

I think this is very important, unlike some of the others.

Redacted Thoughts and Bowdlerized Prayers

Maybe spellcheck did me in like it did our child genius president who knows everything but is weak on attention span, especially when he is eating a hamburger and watching a game show.  He has leather bound volumes of National Enquirer when he needs inspiration.

Slam Thoughts and Bam Prayers

I'd say, stand back.  Let things take their course.  You can expect miracles but may have to settle for a small return on your taxes, unless you in the 1%.

President Trump's Ginormous Duck Lips

Within a year of President Trumps presidency he will develop Duck Lips.  He will be unintelligible. The Russians will be blamed but nothing will be done.  President will undergo reduction surgery in Moscow and will resume his presidency, a changed man.

What Will Trump Give Putin for Christmas?

They both have a lot of stuff but maybe they still delight in getting things.   Who can measure appetite?

Americans in Siberian Prisons

Soon Americans will spend their jail time in Privatized Siberian labor camps.  Free markets always do things better.

Learn Russian

Russian will soon be taught in public schools as the US becomes a client state of Russia.

Putin for Secretary of State!

Why not!

8 Billion People

Listen up!  What do you need?  Get in line. No shoving.

Bob Dole puts out Feelers for WW3

Thanks Bob for your effort.  Did you consult the George Bush on how to bungle foreign policy and spend trillions of dollars with an appalling result?

Enter Your Thoughts and Prayers then Brace Yourself

or something like that.  Maybe you've led an ordinary life and are waiting for a job mowing one of President Trumps lawns.  Non-union please.

What Thoughts and Prayers Look Like Today is Unbelievable

So is there net worth. Shocking and less effecting.  You have to admit.