With the Orange-haired second coming on the calendar, Pastor Falwell has observed shoppers everywhere doing God's work, buying stuff! Dr. Falwell's vision suggests ideas to be addressed by the curriculum of Liberty University.
A study of earthly and heavenly shopping. Better deals in heaven?
Is Walmart high end enough for heaven?
Is there high end in heaven?
Is there a need to shop in heaven? Buying luxury items that have no purpose or multiples like many smart phones.
Is Amazon Prime a better model for heaven. The elect will spend a lot of time at the buffet and not gain weight. They can get their stuff sent to them by Prime and not miss an entree.
Bullying. How would Jesus bully?
If someone is a loser in earthly life (the meek) will they be a loser in heaven?
Bullying and turning the other cheek? Aporia or just Wimpcity?
Can Losers make it through the Pearly Gates? Is there conversion therapy for them?
A nonpracticing homosexual can enter heaven. Will Christian rednecks be allowed to beat them up even if the beating doesn't hurt? It's the thought that counts.
Will the act of holding a credit card replace the Eucharist? Is that too Catholic? What's real shopping anyway? A perenial if I've ever seen one.
How would Jesus advise on groping women's crotches? Will there be a certain number of virgins for each groper? Will the virgin's feelings be considered, if there are feelings in heaven.
This is meant to get the discussion going now that the 2000 year wait is over as Dr. Falwell is shrewdly noted, by subtle indirection of course.
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