The Peckerwood Conference 2012 is in the planning stages. Our sources say that Alaska (epicenter of the Rapture!) is the first choice of the Grand Peckerwood council. One of the main topics is providing security for the Saints during the Rapture. The master plan is for teams of Security Ops to remove sinners, sleepers, liberals and moles from piggy backing or bare backing onto saints "for the ascent."
At the conference the Grand Imperial Wizard Peckerwood will demonstrate his legendary prowess, despite his advanced age, by penetrating 3/4 inch AC plywood with his imperial beak. Joining the Imperial Peckerwood (PW) will be the Grand Duke PW who will give a PowerPoint presentation on Rapture hot spots around the world. PW agents are now taking residence in Rapture-Centric countries where they are setting up PW training camps.
Lord Duke and Grand Earl PW will lead a panel on counter insurgency below five thousand feet. It is believed that the first ascending mile will be at a pace that allows for the conversion from an earthly body to a heavenly body -- a time of great vulnerabliity for the saint. It is during this ascent that PW ops are needed to provide security.
Computer models of velocity and saint range (per square mile) are in the developmental stages.
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What are you talking about?
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