Newt Gringrich Pins His Ears Back

With his ears pinned back, Mr. Gringrich begins thinking thoughts that have not been thought before. He slowly narrows his thinking bandwidth to useful thoughts, media friendly thoughts, thoughts that will save the planet. He thinks of new side deals and his net worth by the end of his second term as president. He watches his bank account grow, shooting upward like a rocket. He will write a monographs on Donald Trump's Billionaire Anxiety and a Green Grand Ole Opry. He hears choirs of angels singing his ideas, celestial bands providing ambient music for his return to earthly consciousness. The steel bands that bind his ears melt. He is done. His handlers towel him off.