Tim Tebow Zen Quitter

Sorry, that was Ryokon.

Has Mr. Tebow every had lunch with Mr. Charles Krauthammer and discussed global warming?

Charles Krauthammer Examines Artic Sea Water for David Koch

Arctic ice is brought to David Koch in Koch industries garbage bags.  Charles Krauthammer examines the water and pronounces it a fraud, a hoax.  The water is not an example of climate change.

Krauthammer explains that the water was probably found in the form of ice, then melted on the way to the lab. Koch is devoted to science and agrees to have the ice snap frozen and delivered.

Krauthammer has to spend more time examining the ice, but the fraudulent nature of the ice soon becomes manifest.  There is no sign of climate change.  The ice level of the Arctic is not diminishing.  The melting ice theory is a left wing conspiracy.

Krauthammer is disturbed, though, that Vladimir Putin also does not believe in climate change.  But strong men can see a hoax.

Charles Krauthammer, David Koch and Vladimar Putin

What do they have in common?   None of them believe in climate change.  What else do they have in common?  Intellect (selective applied)?  Corruption?  Brutality?  Entrepreneurial acumen?  Would they all be happy in the same political state -- leader, oligarch and advisor?

The correct answers will be published soon.

Land Mines in Public Schools for Safety

The perimeters of public schools should be bulldozed and land mines should planted to secure the schools.  If athletic fields are lost -- not football -- this is a result of irresponsible civilian use of military weaponry. Yes, we will lose some children to mines, but that is the price of freedom.

Students and parents will enter and exit the school walking the gauntlet  - a sidewalk between land mines. The fronts of schools will have blast walls and bunkers with guns in place. Heavily armed guards will police the halls.

This is a general plan for the future school which merges the idea of freedom for gun owners and freedom from irresponsible gun owners -- a good part of a billion guns pointed at each other in a tenuous stalemate.  This is the second amendment in action.

These security measures count as increased educational funding.

NRA Silent After Shootings

The NRA is silent at this time, but they are working around the clock on new strategies to retain gun freedom.  This blog has learned that the NRA will soon promote the wide-scale use of silencers on guns.  After all, the retort or multiple retorts of assault weapons scare people and the NRA is against scaring people or deer. It does not claim that the ability to scare is a constitutional right.

Guns as signifiers of friendliness and safety would enhance the experience of mall shopping, attending the cinema or school.  God has protected church attendance so far.

A less developed theme is the end of time with climate change and aliens in neighborhoods.  We will need to be armed to fight off aliens and climate change scientists who may well invade our neighborhoods  - field work! -- with measuring devices and shabby European cars.  Silencers will enable a more effective self-defense and ease of changing sides in the case of backing the wrong alien cohort.

Jim DeMint left congress to work on some of these issues at the Heritage Foundation.

Mike Huckabee Magic Thinker

Mike Huckabee should have a large classroom or church full of mentally ill loner men with vast arsenals of assault rifles.  He can teach them Christian values so they don't kill people.  They can have gun cleaning and safety classes. Lock your guns when you not using them! They can visit malls and elementary schools.  He can read the Bible to them.  He can save the American family.  He can save everything.

Hugh Hefner's Penis and Einstein's Brain

As a Gothic thought and movie treatment exercise, imagine the two organs in a mad scientist's laboratory.  We soon learn that the scientist will put the two organs in the same simmering vat.  The horror!

Free Viagra at a MENSA convention!


One can have their own opinion-makers, but not their own set of fact-checkers.

Romney Pumps Gas

Mitt Romney believes that he will be left pumping gas after President Obama's tax plan with higher taxes for the wealthy goes into effect.  Many billionaires will be left to work in service jobs in small failing towns across the U.S.  This blog believes that this is an overreaction.

But if Governor Romney is forced to pump gas to make ends meet, he will probably meet with generosity  from the community.  He will be invited to potlucks.  He will be invited to watch football and have a glass of cold water. 

Can Mormons drink cold water?  Or is it showering?

Ole Miss and Racial Epithets

Borat proved that putting a Southern college student in a trailer with beer will lead to the N-word.  Is this red-state America?  Mississippi, did you not reject federal health care dollars?  Please don't sit in your trailers using the N word as your health fails.  Remember, if you get health care at the county hospital on the public's tab, that is socialism.

Obama Will Impose Shira Law and Execute Christians

If you believe this, you need to go repeat middle and high school in a community that does not have daily UFO sightings, have 100 guns for every citizen, one church for every ten people, more war memorials than bars, etc.

Octomom and Donald Trump

I believe they are a good match.  I believe that Mr. Trump would have a good deal of satisfaction offering the Octomom's family shelter in one of his resorts. The children could pick weeks on the golf course. Octomom could use spa facilities to relax and regain her health.

Mr. Trump could run some his ideas by Octomom.  I'm sure she would have rejected his offer to the president and spared Mr. Trump the embarrassment.  He makes billionaires look bad.  They get tax beaks, favorable regulators, errand-boy congressmen and what do they do?


Mr. Trump might spend his time better reading stories to Octomom's children.  He must have some soggy property that he could lend as a good deed.

GOP Rape Party

If GOD intended rape and the GOP speaks daily with GOD then we can conclude that the GOP should have rape in its platform, both domestic and foreign.  On the economy, they can claim to create five millions new rapes in the next four years.  Their foreign policy will utilize rape on the battlefield as part of the winning hearts and minds.  In either case there will be plenty of victims which will allow for the high moral ground of blaming the victim.

Tebowing Patent Pending

Next he's going to try and patent nose picking, two great contributions to mankind.

John Philip (Dinesh) D'Souza

A marching band moves down the street in formation playing Stars and Stripes Forever.  Dinesh D'Souza and Chris Hitchens are playing clarinets.  Between numbers they debate the existence of God. D'Souza will ultimately win because he has a more lavish mancave/prayer room.  Hitchen's atheist room -- where he smokes and talks nonsense -- is well done, but doesn't compare.   D'Souza has a mastodon that Sarah Palin shot when she was in third grade!

D'Souza can order a drone strike at will.

Dixie D'Souza and Entitled Prayer

Dixie D'Souza. This is a great name.
Since I know nothing about her, it wouldn't be fair to speculate about her life.
Her husband, though, Dinesh must be one hell of a Christian to be paid a million dollars. This salary -- to be a top-flight Christian -- does rankle.  Is there a class system of notable (celebrity) Christians?  Is this conflated with American Business and Entertainment? 
It seems as though Mr. D'Souza could have done the job for a dollar and room and board.
What does a Billionaire Christan look like.  How do they pray?  Do they get the same results?  They must get everything they want and then some.   Entitled prayer.

Dinesh D'Souza -- $1,000,000

That's it.  Churchs need to pay taxes.  They've been waiting 2000 years; they can pay while they wait.  What a f...ing racket. 

Mitt Romney's Presidency

Mitt Romney is entitled to be president.  He is entitled to hire a criminal foreign policy team to cook the evidence and startt another war in the Middle East -- his war.  Romney will be very mad and disappointed if he doesn't get to do these things. Helping the upper class is no more exciting as playing golf.

Armies of Researchers Work into the Night

They find many wondrous things, but the the wondrous things cannot be implemented.  A group will have to give something up. No one gives anything up, not even blaming the victim.  The data are piled high and burnt.  Handlers and aides dancing in partisan costumes.

America for Jesus 2012

2012 years of waiting.   How many people have died waiting?  Look what it did to Harold Camping.  Is there a statute of limitation?

Israel's Nuclear Arsenal on Display

Prime Minister Netanyahu used a classified picture of an Israeli nuclear warhead in his U.N. Speech.  This is the first public, though inadvertent, admission of an arsenal by and Israeli leader. 

Our analysis of the bomb drawings is that they not convincing.  While ddetails are deliberately left missing or altered, the intent of intimidation is clear. 

High Maintenance Billionaires (bite their nails)

You know what I mean.  They might not get their errand boy Mitt in office.

That's not what I wanted to write about though.  I have this Naugahyde couch that I've written about and offered in numerous posts.  The only takers I've had are from Russia and India.  Come get it!  Unlikely, but I would like to get rid of it.  I just can't take it to the dump now that I have so much invested in it.

One of our laborers, a flarf poet, wanted it.  He sat on it for hours giggling and writing, but when he tried to move it his back went out. We haven't seen him since.

Panda Gives Birth to Kardashian Quintuplets

A Panda in China has given birth to Kardashian Quintuplets in the wilds of Bling National park. 
Several chartered planes are en route with the Kardashian entourage -- nannies, lawyers, agents and hangerons.  A reality show is in the planning stages.

Kate Middleton's Lungs

This blog has secured pictures of Kate Middleton's interior body parts -- intestines, lungs, kidneys, lungs and hip joints.  We are working on enhancing the images for viewing.  Believe me this is far more sensational than the previously published pictures of her breasts.

Our legal team was up all night drinking and putting together a defense so we can stay the course.

Charles Manson and Hank Williams Jr.

Hank Williams Jr. and Charles Manson are in communication. Mr. Manson has proof the President Obama is a Muslim. Hank Williams Jr. wants this information. He is believed to be offering Mr. Manson a role in a forthcoming album, either as song writer or a duet. Negotiations are directed through extreme right prison guards and their vast networks that reach as far conservative think tanks and their billionaire patrons.

The Truth about Bin Laden's Death

Bin Laden had a PBX workout tape on the TV. He was working out in front of several of his wives. the SEALs entered the room and shot him.

Vegetarianism 2500 (Cannibalism is also an Option)

Is there enough land to feed animals and humans or should we transition to cannibalism. The bow-tied ethicists begin the discussion --fava beans and a crisp Chardonnay for lunch.

Keep in mind that you still have to feed humans until they are ready for meat conversion. Will the vegetarians want exemption from slaughter lotteries -- always complaining!

Romney's Dog

Unless the dog has bank accounts in the Cayman Islands or an IRA Trust of over fifty million dollars, leave the dog alone!

Julian Assange and Joe the Plumber to Debate!

Mr. Assange will address document leaks. Mr. Plumber will address plumbing leaks. The two have assured the promoters that they will be able to align their arguments during the course of the debate.

The debate site has not been determined. Mr. Plumber refuses any venue south of Texas. Mr. Assange is not free to travel in any of the countries he has embarrassed.

Joe The Plumber Terrorizes Mexico

The following is a movie treatment for Joe the Plumber and his conquest south of the border. Joe Goes South is the working title.

A mobile structure (a replica of the Alimo) is in place at the border. There is the southwestern landscape with buttes and cactus. Joe is atop the Alimo with a big machine gun. He begins gunning down illegals aka Mexican citizens.

The Alimo moves forward and wiping out huge swaths of the population. The drug cartels put up a fight, but with the help of drones (funded by the Coke brothers) Joe prevails.

The Coke brothers fly into the Alimo helipad for strategy sessions in conference rooms with plumbing by Joe. They are often accompanied by other conservative luminaries. They decide to run the continent.

Joe fights on through Central America and the Amazon jungle, which is reduced to crude compost. The sky is black with drones putting an end to any resistance.

The Coke brothers claim all timber, mineral and energy rights in the war zones. They also claim rights to the Olympics now that Brazil is a belligerent and ruined country. The Coke Brothers build a massive Olympic/Military complex on the Texas/Mexico border.

In the final scene, Joe is at the bedside of the last aboriginal princess. She asks him why he did it. Joe says something like, "Justice can be cruel or truth is a tough mistress." He has a tear in his eye. He wipes his face with a Brawny paper towel.

Baby Bumps

Celebrities have baby bumps, everyone else is pregnant.

Medicare Freedom of Choice!

There is nothing like freedom of choice when one doesn't have enough money to pay for the choice. You can always window shop while family pushes your gurney along.

Rep Ryan Shoots Better Angel

Several years ago Rep. Ryan shot an Angel while hunting. This blog has learned of the shooting and that the Democrats will use this later in the campaign against Rep Ryan. They will make the connection between shooting an Angel and shooting your pet!

As someone who believes that hunting is a legitimate use for the vast American private arsenal, I do not think it is fair to besmirch conservatives for shooting animals or Angels on their vacations.

Downgrading Better Angels of America

As much as I hate to do it, I must downgrade American Angels. I know the President and Vice President and those running for office all get down on their knees at night and pray -- at least on the weekend. They are, though, praying to average angels and at time shoddy angels.


Many of these angels do not have numbered bank accounts in foreign countries or tax lawyers. They are smelly with bad haircuts and ridiculous wings from Target or WalMart that fail in warm weather. These angels depend on the pictures when ordering food in McDonald's. They throw the packaging on the street. Underage Angels stand outside liquor stores and ask people to buy alcohol for them. Many of the angels are comatose and cling to surfaces like mold and rust.

The so called "Better Angels" do enjoy getting together in the Caribbean to protected Mitt Romney's bank accounts. The fly over the banks like drones looking for terrorist gatherings.

The bettter Angels hang around the rich filching foot from the buffet line.

"Better Angels of America" (With Accounts in the Cayman Islands)

How about ordinary American Angels?
Are our Angels better than other country's Angels?
Can or do Angels fight proxy wars for us?
Can we turn over our military adventures over to Angels?
Does Haliburton have an Angel division?
Can Mormon Angeles and Catholic Angels get along?

I saw a number of very impressive Angels in the Nevada State Museum. They, however, did not pay for admission. They sat together near the gift shop on an orange Naugahyde couch. I don't for the life of me know why they were there. Maybe they lived in the mineshafts nearby.

High School Yearbooks (Psycho Killers)

Look in your yearbook or your child's. It's reasonable to assume that one or more of the faces on the pages are disturbed males with the potential to shoot many people domestically or in one of our military adventures in the Middle East (or both). Many of the faces have vast arsenals of assault weaponry in the ready for an imaginary event -- an invasion across a border or from outer space or an uprising over something like raising the tax rate for the 1% or universal health care. These psychos will not even be able to correctly identify the people they kill.

Nevada State Museum

The museum has much to recommend, but the walls -- heavy skip-trowel -- are awful, like an unsold tract house. I had nightmares about applying mud to smooth the museum walls. The only remedy was to go to Virginia City and live in a saloon for a week.

Bankers and Bank Robbers Get Their Stories Straight Over LIBOR

If you walk into a bank and take money -- demand money -- and run out the door you will eventually go to jail.

If you work in a bank -- an executive --and you take money by fraud, manipulation, lying or high risk practices you will receive huge bonuses and live in a gated community.

God Told Me to Shoot Trayvon Martin

Let's just say that's a good reason. For it to be true, there has to be a God and he has to have spoken to the shooter. God wholeheartedly supports the shooting for reasons known only to him. How would one prove any of it? Could the shooter stand his ground?

Octomom and Madonna

Madonna should hire Octomom to dance in one of her shows. Yes, this would be an act of kindness, but Octomom needs a paycheck. She could carry a swastika around stage for Madonna. I know that Madonna's people read this blog. Let's get her done!

Madonna Swastika (Bain Capitol Explained!)

The swastika is in good hands with Madonna. She is an important artist.

I'm sorry, I haven't had time to write the Bain Capitol part. Check back soon.

Joe Paterno at the Right Hand of God

Demanding more compensation. Jesus, do these people in power ever stop asking for more? The more people they ruin the more they want. Maybe they are working for the other side!

The orange Naugahyde couch is still up for grabs. I've been experimenting with saddle soap to refresh the naugahyde. I may keep the damn thing and set an example by not ruining anything and not asking for anything as well. What about you?

Penn State to Refurbish Showers

These people are very sensitive. They have raised the ethical threshold of the school and the football program. For such sensitivity I believe no one should sue the school.

I've got this orange Naugahyde couch...a freebee...that might look nice in the new locker room.

Bach on a Bad Day

Stop that infernal pounding! Not really pounding, but you know what I mean.


Scotty returned the orange Naugahyde couch. He said it was attracting spirits. I found a lure suitable for bass fishing behind a cushion. The couch and lure are up for grabs.

Kansas -- The Center of Global Warming

Global warming is now centered in Kansas and much of the Bible Belt according to a report about to be published in a distinguished scientific journal. With that in mind this blog advises Kansans not to build the wax creationist museum for obvious reasons. The money would be much better spent on air conditioning or moves to cooler climes.

"Spread False Datum..."

A single fact in a world of invented facts or one real fact? A selected fact from a world of real facts? A fact among lies? Data wanting to be a datum? Lives are at stake! Let's get it right!

Jessica Simpson Shares Cute Baby Photo

In the cute photo Rupert Murdoch is eating a cheese sandwich. He is gnawing on the sandwich which is beginning to disintegrate from his saliva. While it is a photo and not a cute video, Murdoch continues to playfully suck on the sandwich while making cooing sounds. Simpson hugs Murdoch and the sandwich falls behind them.

Scientology and American Cheese

On a very busy day years ago, Rupert Murdoch had a sandwich delivered to his office. The first bite was enough, the cheese was wrong or the meat was off. He threw the whole sandwich into the waste basket.

A week later, he returned from a business trip and his office had a rank smell. The sandwich was still in the waste basket. He was forced to admit that he had locked his office and given the instructions that it was not to be entered.

The brass and leather waste basket was a relic of the days before shredding. The waste basket was cleaned and returned to his office.

Gov Jindal Refuses Obamacare

Governor Jindal believes that secretions from the glands of the Lochness Monster will replace modern pharmacueticals. The governor believes the Lochness Monster lived in the Garden of Eden. He wants to farm smaller Lochness Monsters in the Louisiana swamps with the expressed purpose of improving local economy and repudiating socialized medicine.


Spellchecked by a team of unemployed college graduates.

WebMD

The crew liked their recipe for low fat bbq abs.

Judge Roberts - Confused Traitor

We were talking about this around the paint bucket. The crew, to a man, have all seen corporate executives and significant shareholders drive up to 7/11 in old batttered cars (getaway cars), drink black coffee with lots of free sugar, have a hot dog, etc. They obviously should be viewed as a collective person so they have some influence over their misunderstood lives. If they give hundreds of millions to look after their interests, well, that is the casue of their marginal existence.

We believe that Judge Robert's has confused personhood. Is it an abstraction or a guy with suggery black coffee hoping for a days work or some influence for the hundreds of millions of dollars in a cry for help.

Judge Roberts must have thought that the American people, say the uninsured, are a person. Or persons can or should have health care. This kind of thinking is crazy or ultimately traitorus. Are Manhatton, left handed people, the coast guard, Hoisers, NRA, the telephone book, Neilson ratings, etc. persons or representations of persons? If they are subdivided endlessly to they fall below the unit of person, into subperson? Do subpersons have rights?

We are confused.

Goople Outsorces Spelchek Repares

Google has sent its blotspot spellcheck repairs to a small island natshon. The teckies will be paid in glas beeds, Niky shorts and teashorts and off brand snack food. The teckies are working on one computer at a time.

The move is scene as a boost for the lokal ekonomy and a savings for Goople.

Ann Curry says Goodby

Ann Curry cries in her porridge
Ann Porridge cries in her curry
Corporate profits are down
that's why she had a big frown

The crew came up with this today. We're working on more verses.

The couch I've been shamelessly talking about is now spoken for. Scotty (wall paper) has a place in the woods where he goes when he feels like an apocolyptic story is about to come true. He likes to lie on the couch and rock back and forth in a fetal position while watching FOX or bass fishing shows.

Deserve to Die

This is clearly a right wing compaign to promote the Lochness Monster and Octomom as proof of Bible Science. It's about time the running-dog press engage in a little investigative reporting -- call in some of their wiretappers!



ALERT ALERT

My spell check isn't working and my friend's couch is still available, although there is talk of moving it to a trailor on a great bass-fishing lake. I don't go fishing, but some of the crew does.

Sandusky Suicide Watch

What channel is it on?

I know this isn't Craigslist, but I have an orange Nalgahyde couch I'd like to get rid of. It's not mine. I've stored it for a painting contractor who had too many DUI's and is paying his debt. He slept on it when he came home from a night out or more acurately when he finally came home.

The couch is in suprisingly good shape. If I hadn't told you that a drunken painter had slept on it for several years, you'd never guess. The color is not right though. The orange is that of safety -- not much help for him -- or a hunting vest. It's a wonder his wife didn't shoot him, he wasn't hard to find.

Frantz Fanon goes to Disneyland

Guy (me) walks into a library and an African man approaches as I'm riffling through the Beethoven CD's looking for Bach. The African starts in on his taxes (2009)and his accountant who does not know that a certain category is tax free. The accountant refuses to sign the form if the African insists on his interpretation of the tax code.

I'm struck by the neutral quality of the African's breath which is less than a foot from my nose. My breath would be awful, especially in the library. Then it is also strange that he would step right up and start in on his taxes. He must have thought that I was a victim of bad tax preparers or a member of the Tea Party or a good listener, not that one person could not be all three.

A Dingo Killed JFK

Scotty, a wallpaper hanger, is a assassination conspiracy buff. He was telling us the other day that a dingo killed JFK. We had a good laugh, then he proceeded to outline the conspiracy. The dingo was in the lino...the gunfire was a distraction..the dingo had a ferocious bite capable of biting off chunks of skull. He went on and on with the Klan, Mafia and rogue CIA agents.

He is a hell of a wallpaper hanger though.

Note: Scotty has provided additional evidense. He show me several pictures of dogs -- dingos -- in what he claims to be a West Texas ranch that trained the dogs for assassinations. The training site was moved shortly after the assassination and the dingo program may have been discontinued.

Mitt Romney's Southern Problem

Mitt Romney knows that the president is not a Muslim. This makes him look like a snob, almost a French speaker or someone who used Pig Latin in their phd thesis like Newt Gringrich. No matter how hard Romney tries to down play his intellect and memorize rosters from the SEC, he will always be viewed as a closet liberal. Imagine, wanting people to have health care!

Limbaugh Crisis

Along with the Romneys, I am not wealthy nor are any of my coworkers. With that said, I would offer to sponsor Mr. Limbaugh's show -- should the going get rough. We could use some more work, who couldn't. I propose that the show take percentage based on income earned.

A few years ago I was waiting in my dermatologists office to have a large wart removed from my nose. The secretary had Limbaugh's show on the radio. Limbaugh was talking about sitting and crossing one's legs, no doubt a lesser theme of the culture wars. Then, taking the cigar out of his mouth, he said he couldn't cross his legs because he was in so many words too well hung. The receptionist let loose with a titillated "Oh Rush."

Now I could paint the receptionist's house, interior or exterior. This is the type of client I would be targeting. Wealthy liberals are too fussy and they can cross their legs!

Yes, the dermatologist was trained at a university that was a football powerhouse.

Blunderbuss

In an old dictionary the illustration for the Blunderbuss depicts a youth holding the weapon without regard for its recoil. He is about to fire at close range which is the design and capacity for the weapon.

Although the drawing in the dictionary is simple, it does bring to mind young men with weapons directed at the enemy -- other young men. Through larger hysteria and imagined outrages they have been coerced into taking up arms.

On a smaller scale this could be a tavern scene. There is a heated disagreement over a woman, a debt unpaid or a robbery. There is a threat then a resolution.

Stockholm Syndrome American Style

We live in a giant vault with a few billionaires. Over time they have convinced us that they have our interests in mind. Their interests are our interests. They care deeply about us and we should care about them. If we follow their advice, we will have our billion too. I can't wait.

Poligimist Leader Controls Mitt Romney from Prison

Mr. Warren Jeffs is controlling Mitt Romney from Prison. Mr. Jeffs uses visitors to pass on policy to Mr. Romney's advisers. Mr. Jeffs was recently caught talking on the phone to the Romney camp and lost phone privileges for 90 days.

The Romney camp denies receiving counselling from Mr. Jeffs, but there are witnesses waiting to come forward when their security is secured.

City on the Hill

Soldiers urinating on the dead enemy? Presidential hopefuls speaking French instead of speaking English poorly! Merde!

Boris Yeltsin Alive in Palm Springs

Boris Yeltsin has been sighted in the Palm Springs area. It is believed that he visits mineral baths in the area. The aged and reclusive Yeltsin is believed to live in the greater Palm Springs area in a trailer park. He may have attended Betty Ford to recovering from his alcohol addiction.

The sighting will probably end Yeltsin's final reclusive years and expose him to a curious press and hostile parties from Russia. There are also rumors that Yeltsin has left the area for the mineral baths of the deep south.

Peppering the Countryside with Gibbets of Hanged Peasants

The good old days? Good thing thugs and terrorists and state sanctioned torturers don't read outside their areas of expertise.

Carmen Tisch and the CIA

The CIA plans to use the Tisch defacement model to go after the Taliban. Female agents will back into a compound -- exposed -- and attack the suspects. Cost analysis is very favorable in light of a more cost effective military.

Gymnasts are being recruited because they can assume the skunk firing position and easily dispose of the target, then right themselves in full dress with burka and leave the area unmolested.

In this weapon model the abstract factor is not accounted for. Many senior analysts poopoo the need for visual aids. Further research is planned after trial runs in more accessible mountain regions and from the Tribal areas of Pakistan. Keep reading for updates.

Tisch's Tush on the Still

Can't wait to hear her explanation. Did the Rorschach quality of the abstraction drive her to relieve herself? My bladder remained unmoved by the virtual Still.

The owners of original art tend to freak out when painting(house painting)has to be done anywhere near the painting. Was Carmen Tisch a house painter gone bad? Did she ever date a house painter or roofer? Does she have house painters or performance artists in the family?

Bush.

Tim Tebow and Blood and Brains on the Wall

Unfortunately, someone is going to get killed over Tim Tebow and God. Someone's going to say the wrong thing. There's going to be an arguement and the defender of Tebow (and God) is going for their piece, the RPG, their bazooka and blow someone's head off. You know this psycho in a football jersey. You know it's going to happen and you know the moral banality that is going to follow.




















































The goatherd found the computer hard drive tht had been stolen from Microsoft. Kim Kardashian has synthetic armpit implants. Flarf poets are boycotting Aunt Jemima because an executive there gave a large grant to an unnamed Language Poet who promptly bought into a timeshare condo in Aspen.

Buddhism, Death and Skip-Troweled Sheetrock

At lunch over the paint bucket, Seamus, back from Thailand, said that Buddhism was a good way to die. Seamus had been a monk for six months and has come to the conclusion that the levels of awakening and end of formations (whatever the hell that is) all lead to a quiet death. Just a quiet death. That brought about an extended moment of silence.

Across the bucket, Artie began talking absentmindedly about the best skip-troweled patch he's ever done. The image doesn't leave his mind, he says. He can see the perfect patch like a map of an enormous world that hasn't been completely explored --land mass after land mass.

So I usually don't drink at lunch. And I didn't. But there is a wine bar down the street and I thought seriously about sneaking off for a glass of red wine and a contemplation of a peaceful death in some unknown country ... Artie's imaginary worlds on a wall.